The "Dark Web" #lul We need to go beyond the Dark Web, into further and deeper webs - no, not the Deep Web, that's not deep enough - we must go further, into newer, as yet uncharted depths of the deepest, darkest web. The Dank Web. I'm picturing a web consisting entirely of horribly overcompressed 64x64 jpeg images, densely interlinked with one another, such that interacting with any of them causes an endless cascade of more of them until the browser dies. Sorry buddy, your *Personal Computer* ain't dank enough to browse this web. But such will be the nature of these jpegs, their crude appearance and horrific artefacting, that the cascade of them flashing upon the monitor will create patterns of light that reach down into the eyeballs and touches the brainmeats directly, immediately converting the viewer into a Nazi Stormtrooper. We will build such a web, and the media will hear of our building, and they will fear it. They will fear it like an Amazonian sympathy-farmer fears the spectre of the coming Climate Holocaust. The *fear* will lead to **stress**, which will lead to ***premature hair loss***. Thus, deprived of their *protective coats*, they will *get sunstroke and fucking die*, thus leaving us the victors. And I can already hear the naysayers - "you can't program humans through jpeg images" and "what if they stay indoors" and other such *moaning* - well, **WELL**, let me tell you this: They once said that it was not humanly possible to eat seventy six corndogs in less than an hour, but on the 17 of July, 1996, I saw a great big fat bastard sit down and just start shovelling them down his gullet, one after another, just *disappearing* them in there, as if his gut was a *black fucking hole*, and fifty two minutes later, he was done. Now, he would go on to die several years later - choked on a rib-bone, as I hear it - but you can't make an egg without breaking a few chickens. And, *we're going to burn their houses down*, ***duh!!***