If your direct deposit is going into that joint account you should probably make a new account just for yourself and that direct deposit. Use the joint account for bills and leave a little money in it for groceries so you can start keeping tabs on where your money is going. Don't go crazy with all kinds of accounts and moving money everywhere as if you're trying to hide it. Because if you end up in divorce court judges do not like people playing all kinds of games. More importantly check all savings accounts and your retirement accounts. Do not put anyone else's name on your retirement accounts other than as a beneficiary. Women and lawyers have been known to dip into these. You might also want to look over your credit card statements. Look into installing nanny cams throughout the house. The police were already called once, you can't afford any more charges. For the last twenty years Just about everything you've seen in movies and TV about men needing to show their emotions and how men are supposed to act towards women and the family is wrong and I'm betting a fair amount of that just bit you in the ass.