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So. Yeah that went about as bad as it could go.

Thing escalated into yelling and throwing.

Ultimately police came and hauled me away accusing me of a few thing and now I can’t go home and I’m trying to figure out how to see my kids.

Never touched her never hurt her. Nor her me. Nor the kids for that matter

Cops didn’t give a crap.

818 dollars bail later for intimidation and destruction of property (it was my own computer)

I’m signed up for counseling immediately and and trying to figure out if my marriage can be saved....

Fuck me...... I love them all idk how this happened...

So. Yeah that went about as bad as it could go. Thing escalated into yelling and throwing. Ultimately police came and hauled me away accusing me of a few thing and now I can’t go home and I’m trying to figure out how to see my kids. Never touched her never hurt her. Nor her me. Nor the kids for that matter Cops didn’t give a crap. 818 dollars bail later for intimidation and destruction of property (it was my own computer) I’m signed up for counseling immediately and and trying to figure out if my marriage can be saved.... Fuck me...... I love them all idk how this happened...

(post is archived)

[–] • 6 pts

Sucks big time. The damn system is against any rational thought.

[–] • 3 pts

It’s awful. I should have just well enough alone

[–] • 4 pts

I feel for you man! I wish I had sage advice, but don't. Keep your chin up.

[–] • 3 pts

It probally would have come to a head at some point.

[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

Nope. Better to get past this now. I feel for you.

[–] • 5 pts

Dude at this point it is very very important you do not get emotional again, if you want any hope of salvaging things you cannot let your emotions run things at all period. You must be cold and calculating and do only what needs to be done to communicate effectively. If you are angry you let that out in private going forward, no one can hold what you do alone against you but they can and will if you let people see it.

Good luck you will need it.

[–] • 2 pts

Thanks

I want to salvage

I I don’t even care about he money I just wantted to know why still do

[–] [deleted] • 4 pts

Shoot, so sorry to hear this. One of my mantras in domestic situations is to never ever ever call the police. It NEVER works out favorably, regardless. Hard lesson learned. It will be a difficult path back to one another, but well worth the work it will require to get there. If your family can overcome this obstacle, it will make your unit stronger. Good luck.

[–] • 4 pts

Wow. That sucks

[–] • 4 pts

Yessir... yessir it does....

I cried the whole day after until I took some sleeping pills.

I’m very broken over this.

[–] • 3 pts

Wow! I'm so sorry. Did it come out why she had the money and why she didn't tell you about it?

[–] • 2 pts

No... still all speculation.

[–] • 1 pt

So she just got upset that you even found out about it?

I hope this is something that can quickly get resolved for you.

[–] • 1 pt

Yes and then change the password on our join bank account and that’s when things got out of hand

[–] [deleted] • 3 pts

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you both can come back from this.

[–] • 3 pts (edited )

Sucks. Told you not to make a big deal out of it. Also, for future reference, once the cops are called in on a dv the situation is out of both of your hands. They are bound by a set of procedures foisted on them. They always have to make one person leave the property and it's almost always the man. Now you will have to deal with a shitty prosecutor. Even if your wife doesn't want to pursue, if the prosecutor decides to, there is nothing she can do to stop it. Lawyer up. (Watched that s happened a few times with my parents and that was in the 90's, things are even crazier today I'm sure).

Edit: If you want to salvage your marriage: give her space and time right now. Then see if she is open to marriage counseling. Take it slow. I know you feel rejected right now. Marriages come back from this, they do. It's just going to take A LOT of work. And..... don't take marriage advise from shit posters on Poal. Only a handful of us are giving genuine advice. The rest are assholes. So sorry you are going through this.

[–] • 3 pts

Women have long been a favored tool of (((the devil))).

[–] • 2 pts

Welcome to Men's Rights, bro.

[–] • 2 pts

How did it go from asking why she has a secret bank account to the cops hauling you off???

[–] • 0 pt

She accused me of locking her out of the main bank account—which I did not do. Call the bank and she changed the password

I got mad and told her that was bull shit and brought up her secret bank account money and broke the laptop. She call the cops etc etc

[–] • 2 pts

She call the cops

Women rely on their husbands for protection when they get scared - The State is her husband now, not you.

Your first mistake was having your marriage officiated by the State. It's a conflict of interest because the State has the goal of destroying you by stealing your woman and turning her against you.

https://pic8.co/sh/cpXOEN.png

Sorry all I have is preachy hindsight to tell you. I hope you work it out anyway, it's the best possibility for you at this point.

[–] • 1 pt (edited )

Shit happens man. Been there. You will get through it but always think of yourself along with her and the kids and what is best. Dig down deep. Dont do any more damage to yourself. If I cant trust someone I just dont let them have a chance to do it over and over. Theres a point at which I say fuck that shit Im out. My guess is that she was saving for a rainy day fund for herself or she was intending to leave you eventually. If she didnt immediately have a good reason Im skeptical shes on the up & up

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