No, wait wait wait I've got it.
Schedule a private meeting with your professor. Show up wearing a dress, then tearily confide you were raped by a white male at a frat party who also told you being part jewish means you aren't white and now you just don't know who you are anymore. You're having trouble focusing on your work and even making it to class because of all the trauma you've been through, but you don't want to report any of it because of the stigma of being a queer-identifying minority rape statistic.
Guaranteed A+.
Lol that's too good, man
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