Old goats, and new ones I need your ideas.

976

• (+21/-1)

I will start this by saying I dont need your sympathy for this...I have come to terms with what it is.

What I need from you, because you all for the most part are decent people....real people that on voat helped me, and maybe you can now.

So some you know from my past submissions of voat (adhdferret and later AR47) that i had a less than best childhood. Was beaten for al.ost a decade of myife when it began, and then some more by others.

Just what it was, and my mother and step father were the ones that did this. There is documentation of it in court records when I was a ward of the state after the last beating that almost killed me.

If you need accounts of this I can relay them to you in comments but I will warn you it is going to be hard to read.

Today....she contacts me out of the blue telling me she has cancer and needs her affairs in order to make her will and she needs my contact info.

Keep in mind she has never done a thing for me save giving me birth, but for that I have been her punching bag....lied to when there is documentation of the opposite.

I told her no....I don't want anything from her. Gone this long without it, and I dont need it now. Asssume her role for what she has left and know that she is absolved from the burden of my well being.

Then it starts.....the psychopath in her gets to working. Dismissive of all things.....saying that everyone else made shit up, and she was a good mother.

The court, my father, and that she was forced to give me up....i.linked the court case as I have it scanned and saved....she says that isn't it.

It is all made up.....that it is my fault I believed all those lies about her.

Well last time she did see me was when I allowed her to hold my son and I got a picture of it, before she attacked my wife and I broke off all contact.

I told her that if she does indeed believe in God then he will have the decision to forgive her and in so she can do it herself as well.

I did long ago, and didn't want anything from her, but what she could have given me....a mother.

When she does pass I will mourn her, and I am going to frame that picture of her and her grandson to place on her stone.

Because I don't need to remember bad of a dead person...just for what she was that moment...what she did that day.

Then she said I won't get a fucking thing from her ever.....people I cried and I dont do that....not from emotional shit.

I bottle it up like a man does.....but I told her to just leave and take all that with her, as I didn't need her then, and I dont later.

I burned a bridge. Fueled by my own tears, my own feelings and made the decision for my son along with it, which as a father I vowed not to do.....I don't see any other way to protect him from what she really is.

So hopefully I did right....I don't know, but its done now.

Thank you for reading this, and I value your input on this either way.

I will start this by saying I dont need your sympathy for this...I have come to terms with what it is. What I need from you, because you all for the most part are decent people....real people that on voat helped me, and maybe you can now. So some you know from my past submissions of voat (adhdferret and later AR47) that i had a less than best childhood. Was beaten for al.ost a decade of myife when it began, and then some more by others. Just what it was, and my mother and step father were the ones that did this. There is documentation of it in court records when I was a ward of the state after the last beating that almost killed me. If you need accounts of this I can relay them to you in comments but I will warn you it is going to be hard to read. Today....she contacts me out of the blue telling me she has cancer and needs her affairs in order to make her will and she needs my contact info. Keep in mind she has never done a thing for me save giving me birth, but for that I have been her punching bag....lied to when there is documentation of the opposite. I told her no....I don't want anything from her. Gone this long without it, and I dont need it now. Asssume her role for what she has left and know that she is absolved from the burden of my well being. Then it starts.....the psychopath in her gets to working. Dismissive of all things.....saying that everyone else made shit up, and she was a good mother. The court, my father, and that she was forced to give me up....i.linked the court case as I have it scanned and saved....she says that isn't it. It is all made up.....that it is my fault I believed all those lies about her. Well last time she did see me was when I allowed her to hold my son and I got a picture of it, before she attacked my wife and I broke off all contact. I told her that if she does indeed believe in God then he will have the decision to forgive her and in so she can do it herself as well. I did long ago, and didn't want anything from her, but what she could have given me....a mother. When she does pass I will mourn her, and I am going to frame that picture of her and her grandson to place on her stone. Because I don't need to remember bad of a dead person...just for what she was that moment...what she did that day. Then she said I won't get a fucking thing from her ever.....people I cried and I dont do that....not from emotional shit. I bottle it up like a man does.....but I told her to just leave and take all that with her, as I didn't need her then, and I dont later. I burned a bridge. Fueled by my own tears, my own feelings and made the decision for my son along with it, which as a father I vowed not to do.....I don't see any other way to protect him from what she really is. So hopefully I did right....I don't know, but its done now. Thank you for reading this, and I value your input on this either way.

[–] • 0 pt

I've never seen any benefit in forgiving someone who has asked for forgiveness. Guess them that ask for and receive forgiveness get some benefit (emotional? psychological? spiritual?), but that's it. My outlook is that you did whatever you did, for whatever reason you did it, now shut the hell up, and own it, live with it, and die with it. Seek your forgiveness from yourself or your god, or whatever, but not from me. I don't forget, don't forgive, I'm definitely sold-out of absolution, and don't plan to restock.

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