![Always makes me chuckle [828x1602 - 156KB]](https://pic8.co/sh/3YbGxP.jpg){kind=link}
Hmm, when you say it like they it gives the saying a completely different meaning.
Imagine you're a single guy who is doing well and can support a family. You want to have kids to raise but then you see this woman. She's attractive sort of. Has a half black kid.
A daily reminder that the cooch you are fucking had a black dick there. A daily reminder that every time you kiss her those lips were on a black cock. You have a daily reminder that you were not her first choice and someone was there before you.
If ever she compares you unfavorably to another guy, it angers or hurts you. If ever you have a conflict with her son she can step in at any time and tell you that she's the mother and has final say or worse yet, you're not the father. The relationship will spiral down from that point on.
I married a Russian immigrant who had a son. At first, they both professed loyalty and love for me. First time a conflict came up over his behavior he had kicked me as hard as he could in the balls and I just passed out from the pain. This was in public and I had just stopped him from gambling in a casino and pulled him out to save him from security. He did this in the parking lot in full view of dozens of people. When I came to I waved off the other people and hobbled away with both of them. I wasn't even angry but cautioned the boy he had narrowly missed being arrested and had a bit of a talk with him about self control and such.
Over a period of a few months his mother was disrespecting me, doing things behind my back, lying to me, teaching her son disrespect until finally in six months I warned her we'd reached a tipping point where I had to make decisions to get out of the relationship for my own mental wellbeing. She was unimpressed and tried to threaten me that I couldn't leave the relationship. From there it progressed to her putting drugs in my food and assaulting me on multiple occasions leaving some nasty marks on me.
It was over. Her son is a drug dealer and both got deported to Russia. Hell, I'm not even talking about the disgust I would have had if she had a black son. Just general me vs them mentality. So, getting hooked up to a woman who already has a child is just a very difficult situation and I'd never do it again.
Sounds terrible but glad you got out and they got deported. Can't trust eastern Europeans too much, although could have been anyone to do the same to you.
I grew up in a family of liars, drug addicts and back stabbers so it's like I was primed to accept bad behavior and not recognize the signs.
After this I seriously examined my personal values and ways to detect when people are of the mind set to burn me. I researched gas lighting techniques, narcissism, sociopathy, psychopathy, scapegoating and other forms of bad behavior. At one point during the early days of working with the court system to get the marriage annulled my aunt told me I should just accept a normal divorce, I was being vengeful and spiteful and cruel, etc, etc, blah blah.
So according to her I was just supposed to give in, be forced to pay alimony and have this woman come back and sue for money which was her game plan all along. She gets a permanent green card since she was going to lie and claim battered wife status and I have to pay for all her expenses. No effing way. That's when I started having recollections of all the times my family did me dirty and then told me to just forgive and be a good Christian and wait till next time when they do it all over again.
After this I severed all connections with my family and they don't even know what I'm doing or where I'm at.
In a way I'm glad I experienced this and did my research to understand why I fell into this trap and how to check people out so I make sure I don't let people victimize me again.
Being a victim should be a learning experience to fool proof yourself not a life style.
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