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439

I just wanted to confess.

I tried beating my dick in combat, I was a driver, so I could've gotten away with it. My dick was hard, I was stroking away, but then an RPG hit the vehicle in front of me. I kept stroking, but I was losing wood, I started thinking, what would they tell my mother when they pulled my dead body out of the driver's hatch, dick in hand, so I put it away.

I told my buddy about it later, the thoughts going through my head and everything. He said that he'd tell my mother that I died doing what I loved.

I just wanted to confess. I tried beating my dick in combat, I was a driver, so I could've gotten away with it. My dick was hard, I was stroking away, but then an RPG hit the vehicle in front of me. I kept stroking, but I was losing wood, I started thinking, what would they tell my mother when they pulled my dead body out of the driver's hatch, dick in hand, so I put it away. I told my buddy about it later, the thoughts going through my head and everything. He said that he'd tell my mother that I died doing what I loved.

(post is archived)

[–] • 2 pts

this is a thing? what would posess you to do this? am i being trolled?

[–] • 1 pt

Yeah, it's a thing. If you can get a nut off in combat, you're in a whole new league.

Dude, don't worry, soldiers have been doing shit like this and worse longer than you or I have been alive. Beating my own dick isn't 1/52nd as bad as soldiers raping half dead women.

[–] • 0 pt

user name checks out i guess lol

you've inspired me though, i'm gonna go fap somewhere insane, like while bungee jumping or something.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

Possible troll. Since it's unique, I'd go with it no matter what, since it's a real possibility that someone, somewhere, choked his chicken under fire.

[–] • 1 pt

The next generation of infantry to fight a war for Israel will have more female soldiers to help them out with that. Combat jerks will be replaced by combat BJs and combat fucks.

[–] • 0 pt

One of my buddies was in the band for the Army. They deployed the band and stuck them with all the bs. All the bs had female soldiers. He was getting pussy his whole deployment. I hadn't smelled a pussy in 12 months.

[–] • 0 pt

I knew a guy who successfully took a shit in a Gatorade bottle while driving in a convoy in Iraq. It will forever be his greatest accomplishment.

I also watched the same guy grab a glowing red hot SAW barrel directly with his bare hands while trying to remove it. So, yes the shit in a bottle will likely be his greatest achievement in life.

[–] • 0 pt

Everybody does it but you're not suppose to discuss it in public.