She is clinging to the bullshit because she can't bear to admit that she royally fucked up. The bullshit is a safety blanket that says she was a good girl and no matter what evidence to the contrary she didn't ruin her life and her body because it would have been worse if she was not a good girl. That's all she has left. In marketing it's called sunken cost, or buying in. Once there is a cost incurred you are far less likely to back out.