I'm starting to think the UK is the Florida of Europe

Smith later expressed extreme regret and said he understood how the situation could have been interpreted.

lol...

Is there a good way this could be interpreted?

It seems like that would hurt, why the hell would you want to fuck a wet floor sign?

The correct term is "raped".

The cleaning cone did not consent.

Sexual emergency man. Apparently, choking the chicken in a clean private area is somehow frowned upon by the select group of cone fuckers.