Reminds me of a story I heard in the pub years ago. We used to have similar laws in Ireland whereby you couldn’t use violence to defend property (been changed now) but only to protect family. So basically if you were burgled at night with your family asleep upstairs you had to let the robber do his thing while he was downstairs, but once he put a foot on your stairs you could claim fear for family and all bets were off. Well, while these laws were still in place this guy arrived home from work one evening (lived alone) and heard someone upstairs. He fetched a hurl (wooden sports stick), went upstairs and proceeded to beat the living shit out of the burglar. Being aware this want exactly legal he collected up the unconscious thief and threw him on the side of the road and off his property. A few hours pass and a knock is heard at the door. It’s two guards (policemen) and the thief he had met earlier that evening. Homeowner: “what appears to be the problem guards?” Thief: “that’s him, that’s the fucker that battered me with a hurl.” Guard: “this gentleman claims you assaulted him today.” Homeowner: “surely not, I was at work all day and came straight home afterwards so I don’t know when I would even had an opportunity to assault anybody. Where does he claim this assault occurred?” Thief: “he assaulted me in his gaff when he got home from work!” Guard: “he claims the assault occurred in your home...” Homeowner: “nope!” Guard (smiling): “that’s fine, thank you sir.” (Turns to thief) “what the fuck were you doing in his house?” Guards knew the thief had gotten a deserved hiding, didn’t care but only pretended to to get him to admit to breaking and entering the homeowners property.