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You're not kidding, are you?

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I have never made a joke in my life.

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First, that's kinda sad. Humor is important.
Second, I did not know she was Jewish.

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First: that was a joke (i.ibb.co).

Second: she's what's called a marrano - which is a jewish person who lies about being Christian (specifically) and to a larger extent could further be "muh fellow whites".