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[–] 5 pts

I'll add one: Food's not warm until the microwave beeps. Not at 2 seconds left, not at 1. It must get to zero AND make noise to be ready.

And yes, most microwaves have a mute setting. Not my new Whirlpool - they're definitely part of the conspiracy.

[–] 1 pt

Who the hell cooks food in a microwave? I don't even own one.