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People give me money and that's cool because holy shit is life expensive. Every guy I know (I only meet people at work) has tried to get in my pants. Gross. The stuff I learned on voat about single moms being good for nothing except a quick lay is a real attitude that some men have. I don't want sex, I want a hug. It's very difficult to not get those daily hugs from a grown man anymore. My children didn't just lose their father, they also lost their mother. I am a completely different person and I'm still changing. I have to be tough and that is not feminine. But I'm still alive and haven't quit doing what I have to do even though I want to burn everything down and fuck off to the woods and cry forever.

Thanks to everyone who replied, even the ones who weren't nice. I do have one female friend that helps me a lot. And I will take your advice and call myself a widow instead of a single mother even though the word makes me sad.

People give me money and that's cool because holy shit is life expensive. Every guy I know (I only meet people at work) has tried to get in my pants. Gross. The stuff I learned on voat about single moms being good for nothing except a quick lay is a real attitude that some men have. I don't want sex, I want a hug. It's very difficult to not get those daily hugs from a grown man anymore. My children didn't just lose their father, they also lost their mother. I am a completely different person and I'm still changing. I have to be tough and that is not feminine. But I'm still alive and haven't quit doing what I have to do even though I want to burn everything down and fuck off to the woods and cry forever. Thanks to everyone who replied, even the ones who weren't nice. I do have one female friend that helps me a lot. And I will take your advice and call myself a widow instead of a single mother even though the word makes me sad.

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[–] • 2 pts (edited )

I am sorry for your loss. The opinions of the men on here should not influence anything in your life decisions or emotions. We are all pretty much strangers with opinions. Nothing I'd ever entirely black and white. Although you are now single and raising your children, I know what that's like and you will change. But it will be a change that has a path of your choosing that starts with a particular attitude and mind set. When I became newly single at first it was a struggle as when you are with someone for a long time and children are had, two become one and your identities coexist. Now it's a matter of finding out who this older self is of who you were before you met. This could be journey that could really bring out the best in you, your best traits. It may not seem so now but an idea starts with a thought, like a seed. Try to only let the good ones that bear good things take root. I truly hope that you find peace in your life.

If you start to miss him maybe even keeping a journal to him, to spill your thoughts may help. And definitely keep your faith. I hope the best for you. Oh and one more thing. Love yourself the way he loved you. Amplify the things he saw in you that made him fall in love with you.