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I can't find the quote right now but I'm reading a book about decluttering and housecleaning ("The House That Cleans Itself").

In the book the author tells us to not be so proudful and reject our husband's help when it comes to chores from time to time.

We are so territorial over our homes and duties, even to our detriment when we truly are overwhelmed and could use a hand.

Saying "yes" to his spontaneous offer of help provides more than an extra clean dish or laundry. Saying yes tells him that you value his generosity, his problem-solving abilities, and that you see him as a team mate. That's important for a man. Rejecting his help tells him you don't think he's capable. That's degrading and insulting.

Obviously we should try to make it so that it's a rarity we'd need his help but we should not reject him when he offers.

I can't find the quote right now but I'm reading a book about decluttering and housecleaning ("The House That Cleans Itself"). In the book the author tells us to not be so proudful and reject our husband's help when it comes to chores from time to time. We are so territorial over our homes and duties, even to our detriment when we truly are overwhelmed and could use a hand. Saying "yes" to his spontaneous offer of help provides more than an extra clean dish or laundry. Saying yes tells him that you value his generosity, his problem-solving abilities, and that you see him as a team mate. That's important for a man. Rejecting his help tells him you don't think he's capable. That's degrading and insulting. Obviously we should try to make it so that it's a rarity we'd need his help but we should not reject him when he offers.

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[–] • 1 pt

lol do you mean no one you know has a husband who offers to help? Mine does every once in a while but I will tell him no and he honestly looks disappointed. When I read that part of the book I was like, 'omg, he really did want to help not because he wanted to do that thing but because he wanted me not to be so worn out in that moment'. I felt bad because I think I did (jokingly) say, "No way, you don't know how to do it!" lol.

[–] • 0 pt

No, the opposite. My husband helps all the time. I don't have a problem letting him do so. Trad family or not husband's have to help with chores too. It's not even about marriage Dynamics, it's called being a shitty roommate if you don't help.

[–] • 1 pt

Thanks. Yeah, her lesson applies to me because I'm too territorial and don't 'let' him do what I stubbornly consider my job.

[–] • 1 pt

I've done that too or not ask for help when I think I should be able to handle everything. Then when I get burnt out or things get too overwhelmeing I get mad.

I'm trying to say yes in general when people ask me if I need help. It's usually I blessing to both of us.

[+] [deleted] • -2 pt