I haven't received any formal medical training but I've watched/helped my wife give birth a lot now. I thought my observations might help someone. @Silently_Screaming
Physical preparation is a big deal. Labor and delivery go much more smoothly and the chances of bad tearing or things getting bogged down and ending up in a C section drop massively if a pregnant woman actively prepares her body for labor. Overall fitness is good, squats and lunges and whatever core exercises she can manage help a lot. Labor is obvious very strenuous so strength and stamina help. More specifically, stretching the hips and round ligament are very helpful and can keep the baby's head positioned appropriately. In two of my wife's labors things started to stall and contractions were just painful and non-productive until she did a series of side-lying leg releases that opened her hips back up. Keep moving. Hospitals try to stick laboring women lying flat on their backs in the least ergonomic position possible. I can only assume they do it on purpose to increase the likelihood of a c section and an extended hospital stay. Walk around. Do lunges between contractions. Walk up and down stairs sideways. Roll around on a big exercise ball. Hang off a bannister or other rail. Do almost anything besides just lying there like a dead fish.
I haven't been through all their content so some of it might be womyn goddess bullshit but the organization Spinning Babies (spinningbabies.com) has a lot of information on pre-natal stretching and positioning. The simple act of deciding to help yourself rather than just blindly following OB recommendations helps a lot too. There are tinctures and teas that help with uterine tone as well. Find a naturopath or ask @butttoucha9000. Boost blood volume however you can, chlorophyll is good, and take a lot of iron both before and after delivery - vegans btfo.
If it's your first time delivering at home, find a midwife, or at the very least a doula. We have had babies both at home and in the hospital and we've always had a doula with us. Resisting medical advice or pressure to take the epidural or pitosin or whatever is wise, but it is also helpful to have someone with you who has seen a lot of births. A doula can help you decide when you've hit a dangerous trigger point to where the medical intervention is actually justified. Don't bleed out just because your heart is set on a natural birth, as desirable as that is. Interview the midwives, some of them are big on the girl-power aspect and dismissive of the husband's involvement entirely; lots of them verge on being actual witches. Know your state's laws on home births. Some states bar midwives from performing out-of-hospital births if the pregnancy has particular complications leaving you faced with chosing either a hospital delivery or one fully-unassisted at home. I was just blindsided and fucked hard by that a few months ago. Shame on me for not knowing and being more careful with what we revealed to an OB.
Some midwife practices will do home births and bring all their own supplies and handle the cleanup. That has been worth paying for in my experience and it still costs a fraction of a hospital birth. If you want to do more of it on your own, get a shitload of towels/rags/etc, big wet wipes, big absorbent pads, big garbage bags, a couple sets of throwaway bed sheets, and actual waterproof bottom sheets for the bed. Have a means of keeping hot water handy. Have a plan for handling the mess even if that just consists of bagging it up and throwing it all away lol.
Post-delivery, don't let anyone cut the umbilical cord until it's stopped pulsing, and get baby on mom's bare skin as fast as possible, wipe any blood/shit/other fluids off them but don't bathe or scrub them right away. If they're fortunate enough to have their vernix still, leave it alone. Start breastfeeding asap. Half the issue with all the normie labor interventions is that they disrupt the normal post-labor hormone cascade that kick-starts lactation. It's crucial for not only nutrition but the baby's immune system. It's normal for newborns to be a bit blue/gray right at first, especially if labor was tough. Some of that is bruising from the big squeeze, some of it is their blood flow getting going under their own power. It will be obvious if they're not getting enough oxygen. Get a stethoscope, a suction bulb, an accurate sling scale, a good thermometer, and an infant pulse oximeter. Their heart rate will be high af at first, you can find normal ranges online. Listen to their lungs, if they're raspy or sound like they're breathing underwater, they probably are. You can suction a lot of that out but if you don't know what you're doing that might be best left to a midwife. Monitor and record all the normal vital signs and write it down. Calibrate your thermometer and fuck you if you stick it up your newborn's ass. Armpit works just fucking fine. A fever for a newborn is a bad problem. If the time between water breaking and delivery is short, the changes of any bacterial colonization are very very low but it's still a possibility - don't fall for the group B strep antibiotics bullshit. Baby is fine unless you see signs of infection or distress. Be willing to go to the hospital. The midwife/doula can help guide that decision.
La Leche League (llli.org) has a lot of info on breastfeeding. Beyond that they're normies so sorry about all the negresses pictured. If you can't breastfeed or can't produce enough seek out a crisis pregnancy center or similar. Midwives will know who to call. There are lots of women who produce a ton of milk and understand how important it is for babies. My wife has donated a lot of milk to other moms through the local birth center. @butttoucha9000 probably knows of natural ways to boost lactation. Yeast is helpful.
Wear your baby as much as possible rather than always having them in a rocker or cradle or whatever. Get or make a ring sling or rebozo and learn how to use it. The first months of life are the 4th trimester. Keeping that baby close to mom's heartbeat does nothing but good.
Finally, co-sleep. I've posted about that before but it's a huge deal. Everyone needs to sleep and it's generally safe to do so.
Read everything you can find and talk to women who have had natural labors. This is what women were created for and a woman who is paying attention to her own body can often tell when things are wrong. Keep the fact in mind that childbearing/rearing is the woman's battlefield and is how she can fight back. Approaching the whole process with that mindset rather than focusing on the pain or generally gross nature of the proceedings is massively helpful. Be there to help. My wife ends up holding her breath toward the end of labor and getting tired. Nurses are afraid to issue helpful commands, be there to lovingly remind your wife that she needs to keep breathing or whatever is needed. Help her fight the most important battle she ever will. It's a dangerous task but a noble one and worth the risks a thousand times over.
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