i want to do an at home birth because im worried they will force a C section on me.
I'm pregnant and expecting very soon, but im also scared to do it at home because i cant afford a midwife and my husband is unsure because we dont have all the medical supplies we might need. we both want to do it at home but are young adults. we didnt go to a clinic very often during the pregnancy and alot of places are telling me even though everything looks fine i am considered a high risk patient.
what advice might you have to offer? i dont think i will need a C section, ive been healthy. i would like my husband to have the power to get me out of the hospital if the doctors start getting weird on me. do i give up my rights as a human being when i go to hospital or do i still have say in what kind of care i recieve?
Hospitals aren't technically supposed to force surgery like they did with me but it happens. It's illegal to force surgery unless they have a judge's order to do so, but even then I'm pretty sure you can switch hospitals to avoid it and it's not all that common as far as I know. Look up the definitions of consent under duress and informed refusal, know your rights. The American College of Gynecology has a page on their website saying doctors can't force any treatment on pregnant women, I'll post the link to that below. Don't sign consent forms even if it seems like a way out of the room. They had me stuck to an IV, which is why I didn't walk out, and they lied to my husband to get him out of the room, wouldn't let him back in after. To avoid getting stuck you could either refuse IV or get a hep lock/saline lock/j loop which would let you walk around without an IV stand. An epidural would get you stuck too but those are sooo dangerous anyway. Also most labor drugs used for induction like Pitocin can cause complications that lead to c section or even rupture, dangerous for the baby too, they didn't explain that to me with my 1st. Record everything on your phone starting right before you enter the hospital, make sure your phone is fully charged and bring a charger. Have your husband stay in the room the whole time without leaving if possible, even if they ask him to step out. Call the police if they try to force surgery or won't let you leave, remember without a court order forced surgery is illegal. You should be able to sign an Against Medical Advice form to protect the hospital from liability if you leave. I wish I had more info on home birth for you. All this sounds so complicated compared to just staying home lol but understand why you wouldn't want an unassisted home birth. Despite hospitals being sketchy, if you're too nervous or uncomfortable at home that's not right either. If you're set on a home birth you might want to check out home birth Facebook pages for information and support. I've learned a lot from the VBAC group I'm in. If you choose a hospital you'll probably have a better experience than I did knowing your rights and taking precautions to protect yourself. They caught me off guard and I didn't know how to react. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
If I understand correctly, this is your first baby. I would not try an at home birth with the first baby and no midwife. I assume neither you nor your husband are nurses.
I am all for questioning medical authority and being your own doctor at least some of the time, but I do think there is a lot that could go wrong, especially your first time around. If you cant scrounge up the money for a midwife I think you need to bite the bullet and use the hospital.
Youve probably researched a few things you can do to avoid the c section.
Your husband could get made a medical proxy or surrogate decision maker, which means he could make decisions for you if you werent able to for whatever reason. But I think in most situations you are your own best advocate. Especially if you are informed.
Our medical establishment has become somewhat corrupt. So its a hard decision. But I still think its a better option to brave the hospital than going it alone.
i think youre right. going to a hospital would make me feel alot better anyways than trying to do something we read in an (in depth) article about child birth (found on Poal i think).
though you also bring up another interesting point. while we're a bonded couple with no interest of breaking up, we're not married on paper where the jews make it count. i havnt signed any papers saying that my spouse has legal rights to make decisions for me if im incapable of making decisions for myself.
if the hospital decides to do things against our will, we'd be willing to call the police for backup. i wonder how that would work out in practice
Well, call legal aid in your county or state —they might point you in the right direction in terms of giving your (unofficial) husband you medical surrogate or medical power of attorney agent. And obviously ask for their advice about c sections. Sometimes lawyers know the “magic words” to say that will get a hospital or doctor to back off.
Remember that sometimes if you want to be released against medical advice they will send a shrink ro talk to you. They may intentionally try to provoke you (I have seen this) because if you make a threat or hit them or push them they can have you held on a psych eval for 48 hrs, so dont do anything “crazy”, even if you are stressed.
In closing I would like to add that even though some hospitals are performing unecessary c sections, some are necessary, so don’t be totally opposed to the c section. And good luck!
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