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244

I've squandered every single opportunity I've been given.

I've had golden geese spread their fucking legs for me and I cooked them in a stew instead of taking the eggs.

I've been gifted a BMW i8 and I fucking power slid that thing into a Jersey barrier.

I've watched people try to revive junkies on the train and didn't correct them when they administered naloxone incorrectly and ineffectively.

I dropped out of a prestigious engineering program.

I broke my hand in the door the night before my national piano recital. What the fuck.

I lied about my blood type and they gave my bone marrow donation to an incompatible guy and he fucking bit the dust.

I spent my rent money on cheeseburgers for homeless guys and myself.

I got hit by a car and didn't sue.

I have 4 girlfriends and hate all of them.

I literally inherited several hundred thousand dollars and lost 90% of it at the craps table. The fucking craps table.

I'm a piece of shit.

But look at you.

You're really not so bad...

Will you be my girlfriend?

I've squandered every single opportunity I've been given. I've had golden geese spread their fucking legs for me and I cooked them in a stew instead of taking the eggs. I've been gifted a BMW i8 and I fucking power slid that thing into a Jersey barrier. I've watched people try to revive junkies on the train and didn't correct them when they administered naloxone incorrectly and ineffectively. I dropped out of a prestigious engineering program. I broke my hand in the door the night before my national piano recital. What the fuck. I lied about my blood type and they gave my bone marrow donation to an incompatible guy and he fucking bit the dust. I spent my rent money on cheeseburgers for homeless guys and myself. I got hit by a car and didn't sue. I have 4 girlfriends and hate all of them. I literally inherited several hundred thousand dollars and lost 90% of it at the craps table. The fucking *craps table*. I'm a piece of shit. But look at you. You're really not so bad... Will you be my girlfriend?

(post is archived)

[–] • 1 pt (edited )

I didn't believe in Destiny until she died.

And the old man, who should've died many times by now,

Lived on without Destiny.

He told me his liver was failing,

Three years ago!

The liquor, the Hepatitis C Virus,

The motorcycle accidents,

His old age,

He should be dead.

But he isn't, for some

Inexplicable reason.

He lives, and breathes, and honestly looks better than I've seen him in years,

Despite the Death of Destiny,

I think it must be Fate.