After graduation I proved the odd one out and disappeared. I got sucked into the fiction of love, the holes in my head
Please explain
Right after graduation, well... Just after graduation my second muse chose me. I'd had my first muse at 16 and I'll post about that on another day. She would own me for better than 20 years. I fell so hard that when she needed a change I buckled down into the page so deep that I don't think I knew sleep on a third name basis. I thought I knew my future so clear that I could change her with every line I sent out into the wind. And I was on the grind to write every beat of my heart; for her, for the women that consoled me for the lose, for the guy who shared a beer while I cried, and for the whore the wore my nut on her face while I tried to feel bad for cheating on the memory.
I pissed away any thought of a future that might make money for a need to put pen to paper.
Now I just get by, write my mind, and occasionally offend young women with poetry I'm sure they wish their contemporaries could write in earnest.
I pissed away any thought of a future that might make money for a need to put pen to paper.
What do you want to write?
It's not what I want to write. It's that I felt the warmth of love and conflated it with burn of passion and turned that into a need to tell anyone who would listen that there is something more than the think is happening in the world around them. It has nothing to do with anything larger than the person who they just saw look back. All the magic in the world exists in that moment. I am a proper propogandist for the chasing of hearts.
It's not what I want to write. It's what I'm compelled to tell the world. I will go to my grave singing the song of chase that which holds your heart and that you give yourself to most dearest.
If I die penniless, alone, despised by all to whom I confess my heart, but regarded well enough by those who have read my works then I will have lived well enough by my measure. I'll be judged thereafter. That's less my business than that of my maker.