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Charlotte

And he looked at her, and her name was Charlotte.

Well Charlotte, it appears that you have four appendages, and that is well-within one standard deviation of our ideal hire. Do you think there is anything that might set you apart from our other candidates?

Charlotte thought for a moment.

No, I am completely indistinguishable from your ideal candidate, especially given how many functional appendages I have.

Her proboscis curled with a sort of snide satisfaction. She was acing this interview.

And I see you went to Yale?

Fuck, Charlotte thought. Trick question...

I only went to Yale once, and only because all the steakhouses on the New Jersey turnpike were fully reserved for Martin Luther King Day.

The interviewer stared at her, with a mixture of menace and amusement...

Is that your final answer?

And he looked at her, and her name was Charlotte. >Well Charlotte, it appears that you have four appendages, and that is well-within one standard deviation of our ideal hire. Do you think there is anything that might set you apart from our other candidates? Charlotte thought for a moment. >No, I am completely indistinguishable from your ideal candidate, especially given how many functional appendages I have. Her proboscis curled with a sort of snide satisfaction. She was acing this interview. >And I see you went to Yale? Fuck, Charlotte thought. Trick question... >I only went to Yale once, and only because all the steakhouses on the New Jersey turnpike were fully reserved for Martin Luther King Day. The interviewer stared at her, with a mixture of menace and amusement... >Is that your final answer?

(post is archived)

[–] • 1 pt

A cold silence fell over the interview room. She knew that the first one to speak was inferior.

He smirked at her for the first few hours, but by the fifth hour his demeanor had soured, and by the thirteenth his longing for respite was palpable.

Finally,

I... uh... I need to use the restroom.

He said uncomfortably, before continuing.

The interview shall resume when I return.

He adjusted his tie before standing and exiting. Charlotte smiled and thought.

Checkmate.