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Ransom fed my Father's Life, Do not deign to write a Mystery, Rather Crack-Cocaine and Modern Art, Could be a sufficient History,

Apollinaire and Conrad, were required reading, Yet Bache-Martin Elementary School, was the Education I was needing.

I was white, and they were Black, This was around 1990, A Philadelphia Tool, A lunch-bag snack, A cracker kid getting Grimy,

The Blacks, They were a feral lot, They let me know I was White, And to be absolutely honest, They were indeed, Quite Right.

I can't begrudge the past, Nor complain about the future, This leaves me with the bleeding Present, that I desperately need to suture.

Ransom fed my Father's Life, Do not deign to write a Mystery, Rather Crack-Cocaine and Modern Art, Could be a sufficient History, Apollinaire and Conrad, were required reading, Yet Bache-Martin Elementary School, was the Education I was needing. I was white, and they were Black, This was around 1990, A Philadelphia Tool, A lunch-bag snack, A cracker kid getting Grimy, The Blacks, They were a feral lot, They let me know I was White, And to be absolutely honest, They were indeed, Quite Right. I can't begrudge the past, Nor complain about the future, This leaves me with the bleeding Present, that I desperately need to suture.

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[–] • 1 pt

Without external pressure I put it all on myself

How so?

[–] • 1 pt

If parents have no expectations of you, but you have to make a living, and have a "striving" tendency, you burn yourself out because you have no guardrails or moderation

[–] • 1 pt

If parents have no expectations of you, but you have to make a living, and have a "striving" tendency, you burn yourself out because you have no guardrails or moderation

That is interesting.

I often attempt to search for ways in which my parents failed me, trying to blame someone or something for why my mind is the way it is.

Divorce at a young age, going to school with 90% negroes, growing up with a cat that always scratched me...

I don't think I will ever understand what made me the human I am, and why I wish so desperately to be anyone but me.

But that is life, right?

The unfortunate destiny we have is that we can only ever be ourselves, regardless of our wishes.

[–] • 1 pt

That is a conclusion most will never reach. It's like life's purpose is understanding oneself.