Brother, my dad cut me out almost 30 years ago because I angered my stepmom. I'd finally had enough of her and told her off real good. She was a nightmare for my sister's and I growing up. She treated the child she and my dad had as if she were perfect. She neglected my other 2 sister's and I. Eventually, as an adult, I seriously tore her a new one and let her know just how vile I found her. It took almost 10 years for him to even talk to me. We were once best friends. My father was my hero. She took that from me. He had to sneak around to even speak to me. It was only in the last 10 years that I even got to see him. If have to call when I was in town to see if he could meet up for a few mins. He admitted the problem was her. He was afraid to be alone and to have to start over. So instead he gave up his children. He got vaccinated. I tried, I begged, I did everything I could to tell him not to. He did anyway. He called me a crazy conspiracy theorist. He began having mini strokes, as well as other health issues. It was at this point he called and tried to get all of his children together at his place for the first time in 30 years. He did so without my stepmoms knowledge. When she found out he called back and cancelled. Saying he didn't mean to kick the hornets nest. 2 days later he walked into a place he had frequented for 40 years. A place he felt comfort in. He placed a gun on the table and told everyone to leave because he was going to shoot himself. Everyone cleared out except 3 friends of his. They tried talking him out of it. Eventually they succeeded. He removed the clip from the gun. Separated them at arms length. Gun on one side of the table, clip on the other. About that time cops came in and opened fire on him. That bitch he was married to had the nerve to have my uncle, dad's brother, tell my sister we were not to come to his funeral or we would be escorted out by the police. They wouldn't tell me to my face. They knew that wouldn't be a wise choice. I'm always armed. I sent a very vicious letter to a cousin to share with the family since I had no ones number and realistically did not wish to actually speak to them. It was straight and to the point. My sister, our families and I were going to be there. If anyone attempted to stop us I would shoot them. If any of them came up to our family to speak to them, I'd shoot them. We are not their family and I would not tolerate any interference from them of any kind. Else I'd shoot them. This was said to my family as well as hers. Only those who were not at fault were safe to come near my family. That was only a couple cousins. All others were at danger. Some were appalled. My dad would have been proud. It's how he raised me. My dad used to be my best friend. I try to live in a way that honors him and my family name. Not a day goes by I don't think about him. He was my rock. Now there's no chance to make things right. My son's will never get to know their grandfather. One of the greatest men I ever knew. To make it worse, we won't be receiving anything of my dad's. Nothing to remember him by and nothing but memories to pass on. No pictures, no nothing. As AOU stated, you have to forgive him. This is not for him, but for you. So that you can move on and heal. You need to come to terms with the fact that your dad was just a man. Men are imperfect. Even the best of us have our own demons to face and subdue. The best thing you can do is walk tall and learn the lessons you can from your situation to better yourself. Don't make the mistakes your father did. Pass on the changes you wish to be seen unto your own children. In this way you strengthen and honor your family name. You'll make your own mistakes. It will be your children's responsibility to continue refining the character of your family name by doing the same with your faults. All Aryans are tempered through fire. Use the heat to refine yourself. Do not allow it to destroy you. For what it's worth from one niggerfaggot to another, my condolences. \o