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There is so much to do in rehab, until there is nothing.

You will be woken up early, at least initially, for your 6:00 AM dosage of your Serax taper. You will take your Serax taper several times a day, at least for the first 4-5 days. The Serax taper will prevent you dying.

The RA will come into your room, wake you up, and you will walk to the nurse's station, where you will take the Serax and several other pills.

You should be polite and charming to the African woman providing your medication.

She has the power to give you snacks.

This is a good opportunity to grab a cup of coffee from the lounge area.

Coffee runs out quick, so the early bird gets the worm.

After you have acquired your coffee, the best thing you can do is go to the gym while it is still pretty empty.

The Gym at this hour is occupied only by the older Alcoholics and Drug Addicts.

They come from a demographic that does not hog the weights. They tend to use the elipticals, or the treadmills at a low speed.

Once you have gotten a decent pump on at the gym, you will have a chance to engage in your first "Fresh Air" of the day.

The inner atrium of the rehabilitation center is right next to the gym, between you and your way to breakfast. This is where we get Fresh Air.

Fresh Air is overseen by an RA. The RA is obligated to have a lighter on them. The RA will scan you and give you their lighter so you can smoke a cigarette.

This is Fresh Air.

Afterwards, you can continue on to breakfast, and you should.

Because you will be hungrier than you can possibly imagine. After quitting drinking, I found myself absolutely ravenous.

Three plates at least per meal. The biscuits were actually good. The eggs were powdered and the only breakfast meats we got were ham and turkey bacon.

God blessed us when we got Sausage Gravy.

Afterwards, it would be around 8:30 AM, and there was optional Morning Commitment, which I often enjoyed.

Those who wished to attend would show up, the "President" and "Vice-President" of the floor would chair the meeting, and it was mostly a reading of certain AA prayers, and a check-in, with us expected to list our goals and gratitude's of the day we were looking forward to.

I always liked morning commitment, because it was only attended by the people who were serious about rehab and recovery.

The True Believers.

I don't count myself among them.

And this brings us to our First Group of the Day.

There is so much to do in rehab, until there is nothing. You will be woken up early, at least initially, for your 6:00 AM dosage of your Serax taper. You will take your Serax taper several times a day, at least for the first 4-5 days. The Serax taper will prevent you dying. The RA will come into your room, wake you up, and you will walk to the nurse's station, where you will take the Serax and several other pills. You should be polite and charming to the African woman providing your medication. She has the power to give you snacks. This is a good opportunity to grab a cup of coffee from the lounge area. Coffee runs out quick, so the early bird gets the worm. After you have acquired your coffee, the best thing you can do is go to the gym while it is still pretty empty. The Gym at this hour is occupied only by the older Alcoholics and Drug Addicts. They come from a demographic that does not hog the weights. They tend to use the elipticals, or the treadmills at a low speed. Once you have gotten a decent pump on at the gym, you will have a chance to engage in your first "Fresh Air" of the day. The inner atrium of the rehabilitation center is right next to the gym, between you and your way to breakfast. This is where we get Fresh Air. Fresh Air is overseen by an RA. The RA is obligated to have a lighter on them. The RA will scan you and give you their lighter so you can smoke a cigarette. This is Fresh Air. Afterwards, you can continue on to breakfast, and you should. Because you will be hungrier than you can possibly imagine. After quitting drinking, I found myself absolutely ravenous. Three plates at least per meal. The biscuits were actually good. The eggs were powdered and the only breakfast meats we got were ham and turkey bacon. God blessed us when we got Sausage Gravy. Afterwards, it would be around 8:30 AM, and there was optional Morning Commitment, which I often enjoyed. Those who wished to attend would show up, the "President" and "Vice-President" of the floor would chair the meeting, and it was mostly a reading of certain AA prayers, and a check-in, with us expected to list our goals and gratitude's of the day we were looking forward to. I always liked morning commitment, because it was only attended by the people who were serious about rehab and recovery. The True Believers. I don't count myself among them. And this brings us to our First Group of the Day.

(post is archived)

[–] • 2 pts

2 parts and I'm hooked... I hope you intend to write more of these.

[–] • 3 pts

Fuck it.

Take it.

On Fridays, after all group sessions had ended, there would be one more Optional Meeting, an AA Meeting, in the cafeteria.

The people who chaired this AA meeting were...

Really nice assholes?

They were on the younger, more aggressive side of AA.

Definitely Philly Union Guys who got way too drunk and high at a few different points in their life.

They meant super well, but they were just assholes.

They were taking time out of there week to put back into the community of sobriety, but they just kept spitting dirty dip into empty coffee cups, and at the end of the meeting, they would randomly choose one of the spare attendees, point at them, and ask them

You ever tried AA before?

They would never wait for an answer.

They would just say "Oh, you haven't tried it, how'd that work out for you?"

Always expecting the person to devolve in front of them, admit how nothing could work except for AA.

They tried it once on me. I just told them I never tried AA before because I had never been in rehab before.

They didn't really say anything after that. They were just kinda "Bro AA".

I actually love AA meetings though. I think they are a special place.

People will admit things there that cannot be understated.

You have to admire the honesty.

[–] • 2 pts

Part 1 … god dammit this is why I only watch shows after the series finale

[–] • 4 pts

Group is what it is.

And what it is is Large Group and Small Group.

I could tell by day 5 or 7 that the particular institution providing my rehabilitative services was undergoing massive budget cuts.

Large Group was my Floor and the Floor above me, meeting together, to go over some large concepts for rehabilitation.

Floors were separated by demographics.

I happened to be on the older side of the youngest floor.

The floor I would've been put on, the floor above me, was overcrowded suddenly.

I don't have any proof of this, but my guess is because a lot of older Philly Fan's were getting to drunk watching the run up to the World Series.

Small Group was actually helpful. It was me, my Therapist, and 4 to 5 other people, ranging in age from retarded Zoomer to retarded Millennial.

But my Therapist was awesome. We can call him "Brian".

Brian wasn't actually some random dude who went into psychology as a Freshman in college and decided to specialize in addiction.

Brain had the number 13 tattooed on his arm.

Brian had been to 13 different rehabs.

Brian knew the deal. Brian had done worse things than you could possibly imagine.

Brian actually cared.

He was honest. He told me that if he had a beer, he would have a harder drink, and then he would do cocaine, and then he would end up dead or in handcuffs.

He also told me that wasn't the way it happened to everyone.

But he told me "If you got what I got, we can't ever touch it again".

[–] • 2 pts

It's a lot, but you're doing it, and that's all that matters. Keep taking care of yourself, Tango Kilo.

[–] • 2 pts

Thanks for the well-wishes, but I do not want to lie to you and tell you that sobriety is something that is worthwhile or worth pursuing at all.

There is an awful lot of really bad shit in the universe I'd rather not be aware of.

[–] • 2 pts

Been there. I spent almost 10-years in a drug-addled daze - speed was my thing - there are black holes where years used to be that a still cannot recall, now 12 years sober.

Did the reefer thing; did the black-out booze thing, did it all and the only common denominator - everything around me was still there, time kept ticking whether I was aware of it or not.

Decided it was about me and mine, doing what was best relative to the things I could control, ultimately my happiness is a large part of that.

Individual miles may vary of course, and the decisions we make in this life are ours. Im celebrating you l, like it or not haha!

Sainte Mhaith

[–] • 2 pts

Did the reefer thing; did the black-out booze thing, did it all and the only common denominator - everything around me was still there, time kept ticking whether I was aware of it or not.

I keep on seeing this, and it makes so much sense.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

>There is an awful lot of really bad shit in the universe I'd rather not be aware of.

One begets the other and the other begets the one. You know full well that the universe is a harsh and bitter bitch when your puking your guts out. She's still the same when you're on top of the world and in command.

[–] • 1 pt

Quite honestly I do appreciate this look into what rehab is/was like. Please continue.

[–] • 3 pts

So, you are going to have a rotating series of Large Groups, telling you the same things over and over again.

This is because everyone needs to hear the same basic intro to rehabilitation, and rehab is not like college.

Nobody picks a specific semester that they want to start rehab in, nobody plans ahead to when their own rehab should start.

Rehab starts when you realize your life in untenable, or another person pressures you into going.

The rehab I went to was at-will.

I could walk out the door anytime I wanted.

But I am going to pay $3,000.00 if I stay 5 days or 30, so I might as well stay 30 days.

I really liked rehab.

It was an amazingly fun experience.

But a large part of that is me having fun watching other people.

Not that I take pleasure from seeing another human's misery, but I like seeing how people react in unnatural environments.

The Junkies were and are right. They get humanity at a better level.

[–] • 1 pt

Rational thought process. Get your money's worth for sure.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

So it's kinda like a halfway house, but with more druggies.

I got forced into those things a few times back in the day.

Remember getting out of there and immediately partying as hard as I f'ing could, simply because they made me go to that place.

It wasn't until everyone had pretty much given up on me and stopped forcing me into these "programs" that I got my shit together.

These people don't realize they're just making it worse for people like myself.

For me, it was always "I'm going to do this my way or no way at all"

[–] • 1 pt

What's your drug of choice, and why?

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

Wrote a big ol' wall of text, decided to bail on that. It was all about me and my life, and nothing about helping you with your issue. Would have just pissed you off.

[–] • 0 pt

Nothing makes me feel anything.

[–] • 1 pt

I'm proud of you man. You are taking on something difficult and you're doing it. I hope you keep feeling better every day.