I can feel it now. I think it is something that you can't really feel until you have tried to do it in a serious way. It is an unmistakable realization. It can't leave me, I can't not know this. It feels like it has been with me all along, but I just ignored it all the while. But now I know it is with me, and it will not leave me, no matter how often I try to look away. It is oddly comforting, knowing it is always around me. And that option keeps on beckoning me towards it.