Kept on telling the officer I was going to reach for his gun, and that he needed to shoot me. To his credit, he did not shoot me. On the ride over to the hospital, he told me I needed help. He was a very nice man, as were all the people I enjoyed meeting that night, including the paramedics, nurse, and the psychiatrist I saw. I think they all did an excellent job in the performance of their jobs. I told him, along with the paramedic and nurse that watched me, why there wouldn't be any help for me. I have tried getting help before, and it just does not work. I was prescribed anti-depressants, had therapy sessions, and did other things such as work out exhaustively in order to make myself feel happier. And to be honest, some of those things did work. Working out did actually make me much happier. But being temporarily happy is very different from actually wanting to exist. I can be happy in brief moments, but I know that I bring so much suffering into this world, that my brief moments of happiness aren't worth it at all. Sometimes you try your best, but you know that your best simply isn't good enough. You can't actually make this World Perfect, no matter how hard you try. So you try and you squeal and squirm and then you Fail. And then you get detained. They only held me 12 hours, they could have held me for 72. I feel bad for the cop and the paramedic and the CNA I talked to. I definitely did depress them a little bit. I just lied to the Psychiatrist. She was in charge of discharging me, and I didn't feel like being there anymore, or being honest with anyone. Just would've added more misery to the world.