Imagine being a basketball coach.

Imagine being Japanese.

Imagine being a male.

And Imagine doing your best to teach.

Now Imagine that the insolent teenage girls you were trying to coach failed you. They didn't listen to your wisdom. They didn't practice like you told them to. And they lost...

To the Nigerian National team...

All of them 6' 5", all of them lacking in skill but having height...

How would you react?

You'd slap the bitches too, they failed...

Obviously the man hasn't been paid.

It was following the seventh occurrence in the match after he had told the players to dig, and the seventh unanswered, undefended point in a row that Coach Thomas realized he’d had enough.

He called for a time out and stormed onto the court before proceeding to berate the team, “Ladies, those knee pads aren’t for servicing your boyfriends after the match. They’re for protecting you as you hustle for that ball.”

The girls exchanged confused glances.

“This isn’t the way I trained you. I am fed up with your complacency. How you got into this university program is beyond me,” he shouted.

More blank stares.

“Don’t be afraid of the ball. I am much scarier than it or the floor!” His frustration was glowing off of him.

Finally, Dani spoke up, “We’re fifth graders.”

Rachel chimed in, “Also, who are you?”

Forty five minutes later, as Coach Thomas was snapped in handcuffs and placed in the back of the squad car, the arresting officer listened to the principal explain that he’d never seen the man before, and how this “Coach Thomas” character showed up at the game that night and started blowing a whistle and barking orders at the girls’ volleyball team before the incident where he charged out of the stands and started assaulting elementary students.

They tried to steal his virginity.