He could feel the pressure building, deep inside. It was going to happen, soon, whether he wanted it to or not. So he pulled over, into the nearest rest station, and waddle-walked to the bathroom, hoping he would make it. There were three stalls, in the classic configuration, two normal single ones, and a handicapped stall in the corner. All three looked locked and in full use. But he needed to go, and soon. He knocked on the first stall. >Occupied! He knocked on the second stall >fuck off I'm taking a shit And so, close to shitting his pants, he knocked on the third stall... >Come in, but I am quite busy, so let's keep it quick. That was unexpected. He was uncertain how to respond. He never thought knocking on a bathroom door would result in such a response. Then he heard a voice... >Come in or leave, I can hear you outside the door, and I really dont have time for this, so make your choice and stick by it. The voice was authoritative, and more so, the sounds from the first two stall were violent, and extensive. So he entered the third stall... And he encountered a man dressed in an immaculate three piece suit, black, with pin stripes, sitting on the toilet, pants down, taking an shit. He even had a laptop on his lap. And then, discarding his laptop into a small puddle of green liquid to his right, he stood up and offered a handshake... >Brent Calgill, CEO of Calgill Mining and Electrical. How can I help you today? His pants were around his ankles, and when he stood, a noticeable 'ploop' sound was heard in the water below him. >I uhhh, I just need to do some business in this stall. Brent looked at him, sternly for a moment, and then softened his eyes. >Of course. You have a proposal. We are businessmen, after all. Allow me to take a seat, and tell me about your business. And, what is your name? He sat back down on the toilet, looking like a king on a throne. >Well, I'm Tim from Carbon country, but my immediate problem is that I really need to go, and I am quite gassy as well. Brent picked up the computer, the commensurate professional, and began to type. >So, you're probably eager to sell your Natural Gas Right's from Carbon Country, to avoid having a giant, like ExxonMobil or Citgo take land. At Cargill, we treat out clients like family. You can trust us. Tim rocked back and forth uncomfortably, ready to burst at any moment. >I need to go NOW! Brent eyed him with a modicum of respect. >Coming into my private office, with demands? That takes balls kid. But I respect it. Give me a minute while I write up the paperwork. Tim shifted around uneasily... >No sir, I don't think you understand. I need to do some business you're currently doing. And I need to do it right now! Seriously! I HAVE TO GO! Brent eyed him with suspicion. >So, this is a hostile takeover. You want my position? Tim was close to the edge. Another minute and he would shit himself. >I need to sit down, now! Brent's eyes cooled. >I knew this was a long time coming. I was about to be ousted from my seat of power. A hostile takeover was inevitable. Here, take it. Have fun with it. It was a hard job, after all. I hope you do better than I did. After saying those words, he handed Tim the laptop, and told him to leave. Tim shat himself outside the bathroom door.