I remember having dreamt a bad dream last night.
It fulfilled all of my failures, and let me know exactly how I have disappointed everyone in my life.
I'm going to kill myself very shortly.
It wasn't a dream that had a sudden start to it, it was more like a slow rousing of becoming aware that I was extremely cold and quite damp, while laying down. The light surrounding me was pale and gray, that ambient light that you see when it is neither snowing nor sleeting, but the Sun still shines through the clouds.
I was sleeping on a park bench. I had been sleeping on this park bench for quite some time.
I was covered with blankets, and surrounded by a few scarce belongings, and it was very cold.
The grass that was exposed was dirty, and muddy, like it had the snow had fallen, and melted, and fallen, and melted, maybe a few times over. I think I may have been sleeping there almost forever, it felt like I never wanted to wake up, and when I did wake up, it felt like I wanted to go back to sleep, because waking up was acknowledging that this reality did exist.
Park benches were all around me, and all of them housed similar people, all laying, shivering underneath musty blankets, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep, so as not to have to deal with the cold reality that surrounded them.
But there was one that was awake.
He had a small electric speaker next to him, which was playing music, while smoothly and slowly emitting LED colors from various different rims. The music changed in time, as did the LED lights from the speaker, which was plugged into a small, rechargeable battery.
"My father bought this for me!" he told us.
"My father loves me, that's why I have this!"
"Where's your father now?" said another dozing, freezing, bum.
And then I drifted back to sleep, on that cold, damp, park bench.
I remember having dreamt a bad dream last night.
It fulfilled all of my failures, and let me know exactly how I have disappointed everyone in my life.
I'm going to kill myself very shortly.
It wasn't a dream that had a sudden start to it, it was more like a slow rousing of becoming aware that I was extremely cold and quite damp, while laying down. The light surrounding me was pale and gray, that ambient light that you see when it is neither snowing nor sleeting, but the Sun still shines through the clouds.
I was sleeping on a park bench. I had been sleeping on this park bench for quite some time.
I was covered with blankets, and surrounded by a few scarce belongings, and it was very cold.
The grass that was exposed was dirty, and muddy, like it had the snow had fallen, and melted, and fallen, and melted, maybe a few times over. I think I may have been sleeping there almost forever, it felt like I never wanted to wake up, and when I did wake up, it felt like I wanted to go back to sleep, because waking up was acknowledging that this reality did exist.
Park benches were all around me, and all of them housed similar people, all laying, shivering underneath musty blankets, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep, so as not to have to deal with the cold reality that surrounded them.
But there was one that was awake.
He had a small electric speaker next to him, which was playing music, while smoothly and slowly emitting LED colors from various different rims. The music changed in time, as did the LED lights from the speaker, which was plugged into a small, rechargeable battery.
"My father bought this for me!" he told us.
"My father loves me, that's why I have this!"
"Where's your father now?" said another dozing, freezing, bum.
And then I drifted back to sleep, on that cold, damp, park bench.
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