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I drink too much and I am sincerely unhappy. I have had thoughts of suicide often in the past 18 days.

There are no days when I feel happiness.

There are only days when I can successfully feign happiness to others.

My mind is absolutely fucking perfect.

It is my mentality that is garbage.

The only way that I can move forward is to acknowledge my own flaws.

I cannot imagine that this will be an easy, or pleasant, process.

I can only imagine that it is neccessary.

I hope this message finds you well, and I hope that you are in the best of spirits. Someday I will find you, and we can walk hand-in-hand into the autumnal sunset.

Until then I am on my own, and I will do my best to do well without you.

I will always love and miss you.

Regards,

-Theo

I drink too much and I am sincerely unhappy. I have had thoughts of suicide often in the past 18 days. There are no days when I feel happiness. There are only days when I can successfully feign happiness to others. My mind is absolutely fucking perfect. It is my mentality that is garbage. The only way that I can move forward is to acknowledge my own flaws. I cannot imagine that this will be an easy, or pleasant, process. I can only imagine that it is neccessary. I hope this message finds you well, and I hope that you are in the best of spirits. Someday I will find you, and we can walk hand-in-hand into the autumnal sunset. Until then I am on my own, and I will do my best to do well without you. I will always love and miss you. Regards, -Theo

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[–] • 5 pts

Bad idea.

Those places don't help you.
Sleep properly. Fuck your wife more. Go on the internet less. Move to a smaller town.
Have you tried any gardening, hunting or other activities that let you commune with nature?
Quit your job and learn to make money on your own.
Build something.
Get some pot and smoke some. Mushrooms are also a great choice.

[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

i found AA to be of bunch money seeking places, thier fucking dues. I actually had someone who wished they had more people to collect more money.

they didnt give a give about recovery, just their fucking rent

i only had to do it because of court

[–] • 1 pt

Somehow, you saying this doesn't really surprise me. You seem like the unhinged type...

With the playful banter aside, these types of twelve step programs are much more malevolent than most tend to realize. These groups are watch and farmed for people with low levels of conscientiousness. They are taken advantage of pretty exclusively.

It's like, if you go hunting for deer, you don't go to the arctic and you certainly don't rent a boat...

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

You seem like the unhinged type...

naw im pretty fucking square man, i did some shit weekend that really threw me off. I dont want to get into it.

types of twelve step programs

hey if they work for you great, totally awesome im not down playing it. It just wasnt for me, and this was my experience and thoughts.... maybe another place would be different.........

i actually would recommend a psychiatrist, but i dont have insurance

i will talk about it @Theodorekent if ya going thru anything with EXTREME confidence i hope you are doing well