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163

I drink too much and I am sincerely unhappy. I have had thoughts of suicide often in the past 18 days.

There are no days when I feel happiness.

There are only days when I can successfully feign happiness to others.

My mind is absolutely fucking perfect.

It is my mentality that is garbage.

The only way that I can move forward is to acknowledge my own flaws.

I cannot imagine that this will be an easy, or pleasant, process.

I can only imagine that it is neccessary.

I hope this message finds you well, and I hope that you are in the best of spirits. Someday I will find you, and we can walk hand-in-hand into the autumnal sunset.

Until then I am on my own, and I will do my best to do well without you.

I will always love and miss you.

Regards,

-Theo

I drink too much and I am sincerely unhappy. I have had thoughts of suicide often in the past 18 days. There are no days when I feel happiness. There are only days when I can successfully feign happiness to others. My mind is absolutely fucking perfect. It is my mentality that is garbage. The only way that I can move forward is to acknowledge my own flaws. I cannot imagine that this will be an easy, or pleasant, process. I can only imagine that it is neccessary. I hope this message finds you well, and I hope that you are in the best of spirits. Someday I will find you, and we can walk hand-in-hand into the autumnal sunset. Until then I am on my own, and I will do my best to do well without you. I will always love and miss you. Regards, -Theo

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[–] 2 pts

No, you made a good point. That's a very respectable philosophy to have. Complicating things by piling shit on may be a fault I have. I think you reminding me of this is helpful, frankly. Thanks.

Over exposure can dull the cannabinoid receptors. This is often the result of misusing concentrations or the typical highschool-esque "dude, let's smoke bluntz all night, bro!" attitude.
Of course, there's always the chance of disproportionate levels of serotonin, which is often the result of misusing various types of psychedelics. Take that last sentence with a grain of salt, though, because I'm not sure how much cannabis overlaps in this respect.

Thanks for putting in effort. It's tiring hearing the same old failed diatribe like, "that's for degens, bro!". This only really shows how shallow one's understanding of the area is...