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257

I drink too much and I am sincerely unhappy. I have had thoughts of suicide often in the past 18 days.

There are no days when I feel happiness.

There are only days when I can successfully feign happiness to others.

My mind is absolutely fucking perfect.

It is my mentality that is garbage.

The only way that I can move forward is to acknowledge my own flaws.

I cannot imagine that this will be an easy, or pleasant, process.

I can only imagine that it is neccessary.

I hope this message finds you well, and I hope that you are in the best of spirits. Someday I will find you, and we can walk hand-in-hand into the autumnal sunset.

Until then I am on my own, and I will do my best to do well without you.

I will always love and miss you.

Regards,

-Theo

I drink too much and I am sincerely unhappy. I have had thoughts of suicide often in the past 18 days. There are no days when I feel happiness. There are only days when I can successfully feign happiness to others. My mind is absolutely fucking perfect. It is my mentality that is garbage. The only way that I can move forward is to acknowledge my own flaws. I cannot imagine that this will be an easy, or pleasant, process. I can only imagine that it is neccessary. I hope this message finds you well, and I hope that you are in the best of spirits. Someday I will find you, and we can walk hand-in-hand into the autumnal sunset. Until then I am on my own, and I will do my best to do well without you. I will always love and miss you. Regards, -Theo

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[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

I went through many life events that even hardened individuals might call "traumatic" made me a bit permanently paranoid

[–] • 1 pt

It may be a trigger than.
There are ways to disassociate the two feelings or states. Still, this is about where I should draw the line... I don't want to give you bad advice in this area.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

I have a different brain chemistry than most, rules don't apply the same without being specific shit about the labels they gave me during mandatory interviews after these things

[–] • 1 pt

You would likely benefit from understanding that Project Mockingbird didn't solely extend to media industry...
We're talking doctors and especially therapists, councilors.
More than just pharma.