It was 2020, and I had helped my city achieve a democratic victory, and I made sure every neighbor I knew voted, and, in doing so, we helped make certain that Drumpf did not win again. We were all shouting and celebrating out on the street.
A tall man came out to greet me. He did not know who I was, but he was handsome and charismatic.
"Thank you so much for volunteering your time, I can't help but think about people like you, that cared so much, helped us win tonight! It Wouldn't be possible without you folks!"
He was cheered, and he held my hand up high in the air. It felt amazing, helping a democratic campaign win.
I am quite photogenic myself, so he handed me off to his campaign manager, a smaller Jewish man, maybe about 6'1". He took me off, to take pictures and parade me in front of the winners.
"Look at this beautiful supporter! We could not have done it without him!"
The campaign manager held my hand up and twirled!
"Look, you simply must meet our director of strategy! She would love to meet a person such as you!"
So he handed me off to a few aids, and the aids took me from the spotlight of Election Night and into City Hall.
The aids were small, and had crooked noses, and spoke with odd accents.
"We have to take you to the right spot, you will be our new spokesman!"
They swept me off to a distant backroom, full of people speaking about what would come of the election.
There was the Director of Strategy. She was an old woman, wrinkled and hunch-backed, surrounded by important looking men at the center of a table.
"Oh, Look at who has graced us! One of our men, one of the people who made all of this possible! Come over here and let me give you a little kiss!"
So I went over to her, a little bit tepid, and let her dry lips brush my forehead.
"You will do very well here, I couldn't think about how a man like you could fail. You just need to go down one more level, I am just the Director of Strategy, the actual bosses are one level below me!"
So a small aid came to grab me by the arm. She had thin, black hair, that was oily and curly at the same time. Her face has an awkward grin, and lips so red they must be unhealthy, and a face so pale she must be anemic.
And this young grinning aid led me down below, one more level, to where the real party bosses resided.
And I can into a room covered in red velvet, from floor to ceiling, and every cubic inch of the atmosphere was filled with cigar smoke.
The room was walled with old wood, brown and lacquered over a hundred times or more. And there was a large table at the center, a six-legged great-table, in the shape of an oval, with at least 13 diminutive beings sitting on tiny chairs, all smoking big cigars.
None of these creatures could've been more that three and a half feet tall.
"Look, our new champion chooses to join us! How Fortuitous!"
One of them shouted.
"What an Honor!"
Another cackled.
"Please, take a seat next to us, old Theo. You helped us win the election!"
I didn't know what to say. I was wondering if they were the DNC Bosses. And somehow, the seemed to know what I was thinking.
"No, we aren't the DNC bosses, that is kind of silly. But we did plan the out the elections. And we are very grateful for your diligent work! If you wanted, we could reward you with a nice position. You did great, Kiddo! And you deserve nothing but the best! We can set you up with a cushy position, you will never have to worry about another thing in your entire life! Just work for us!"
That seemed somewhat unreal, and somewhat untrustworthy.
"I am not sure I am comfortable with that"
I said, uncertainly.
"Well than go down, go down and talk to the boss. He is only one level down, he likes to talk to everyone, we were just trying to prevent you from that... Hardship. But go, go and talk to him, it shouldn't take long."
So I walked down the last staircase. There were no aids to escort me, which seemed odd. Nobody to guard the mayor.
Why would the Mayor need no bodyguards?
The staircase seemed long and winding, even for a municipal building.
And if got hotter as I went down. Being a product of Philadelphia Public Schools, I understood that public buildings often lacked adequate cooling, heating, and ventilation.
But I felt the rubber soles of my shoes begin to melt.
I felt my eyes begin to burn.
And I felt true terror, as I went down, to the 4th layer of City Hall, the Underground.
The Place where I would meet the Mayor.
It was 2020, and I had helped my city achieve a democratic victory, and I made sure every neighbor I knew voted, and, in doing so, we helped make certain that Drumpf did not win again. We were all shouting and celebrating out on the street.
A tall man came out to greet me. He did not know who I was, but he was handsome and charismatic.
"Thank you so much for volunteering your time, I can't help but think about people like you, that cared so much, helped us win tonight! It Wouldn't be possible without you folks!"
He was cheered, and he held my hand up high in the air. It felt amazing, helping a democratic campaign win.
I am quite photogenic myself, so he handed me off to his campaign manager, a smaller Jewish man, maybe about 6'1". He took me off, to take pictures and parade me in front of the winners.
"Look at this beautiful supporter! We could not have done it without him!"
The campaign manager held my hand up and twirled!
"Look, you simply must meet our director of strategy! She would love to meet a person such as you!"
So he handed me off to a few aids, and the aids took me from the spotlight of Election Night and into City Hall.
The aids were small, and had crooked noses, and spoke with odd accents.
"We have to take you to the right spot, you will be our new spokesman!"
They swept me off to a distant backroom, full of people speaking about what would come of the election.
There was the Director of Strategy. She was an old woman, wrinkled and hunch-backed, surrounded by important looking men at the center of a table.
"Oh, Look at who has graced us! One of our men, one of the people who made all of this possible! Come over here and let me give you a little kiss!"
So I went over to her, a little bit tepid, and let her dry lips brush my forehead.
"You will do very well here, I couldn't think about how a man like you could fail. You just need to go down one more level, I am just the Director of Strategy, the actual bosses are one level below me!"
So a small aid came to grab me by the arm. She had thin, black hair, that was oily and curly at the same time. Her face has an awkward grin, and lips so red they must be unhealthy, and a face so pale she must be anemic.
And this young grinning aid led me down below, one more level, to where the real party bosses resided.
And I can into a room covered in red velvet, from floor to ceiling, and every cubic inch of the atmosphere was filled with cigar smoke.
The room was walled with old wood, brown and lacquered over a hundred times or more. And there was a large table at the center, a six-legged great-table, in the shape of an oval, with at least 13 diminutive beings sitting on tiny chairs, all smoking big cigars.
None of these creatures could've been more that three and a half feet tall.
"Look, our new champion chooses to join us! How Fortuitous!"
One of them shouted.
"What an Honor!"
Another cackled.
"Please, take a seat next to us, old Theo. You helped us win the election!"
I didn't know what to say. I was wondering if they were the DNC Bosses. And somehow, the seemed to know what I was thinking.
"No, we aren't the DNC bosses, that is kind of silly. But we did plan the out the elections. And we are very grateful for your diligent work! If you wanted, we could reward you with a nice position. You did great, Kiddo! And you deserve nothing but the best! We can set you up with a cushy position, you will never have to worry about another thing in your entire life! Just work for us!"
That seemed somewhat unreal, and somewhat untrustworthy.
"I am not sure I am comfortable with that"
I said, uncertainly.
"Well than go down, go down and talk to the boss. He is only one level down, he likes to talk to everyone, we were just trying to prevent you from that... Hardship. But go, go and talk to him, it shouldn't take long."
So I walked down the last staircase. There were no aids to escort me, which seemed odd. Nobody to guard the mayor.
Why would the Mayor need no bodyguards?
The staircase seemed long and winding, even for a municipal building.
And if got hotter as I went down. Being a product of Philadelphia Public Schools, I understood that public buildings often lacked adequate cooling, heating, and ventilation.
But I felt the rubber soles of my shoes begin to melt.
I felt my eyes begin to burn.
And I felt true terror, as I went down, to the 4th layer of City Hall, the Underground.
The Place where I would meet the Mayor.
(post is archived)