Johnny the plucky young journalist arrived on the scene to interview the family and document the scene.

The headline the next day read "Suicides on the rise in inner city communities, locals stumped"

Sounds like good fun. I bet it puts hair on the chest too.

"But daaaad, I'm tiiiiired! That's the twelfth one today!" the little boy complained. His father, a hard, steel-eyed man, looked to the horizon: "Son, I told you once. Hangin' niggers builds character. Now c'mon, we got five more before sundown."

"Dad, didn't you mean hanging out with niggers, instead of hanging niggers?"

"Son, I'm an agent. I represent these fine black folks. As a matter of fact, I take 15% of their income from them. So when I talk to them personally, it is important that I talk like they do. They're prominent rappers, artists, and people who make people think. That's how we make our living. That is why people like the Beasty Boys. And if that isn't right, our agency isn't named Eisenberg, Eisenberg, and Bernstein"