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Women have a dichotomy in their desire. They want a highly assertive man who can win at competitive endeavors to bring resources back to her. This requires the man to be less empathetic since stopping to comfort hurt competitors' fee-fees doesnt lead to success. At the same time, women want an empathetic man who'll care about her fee-fees enough to stick around and raise a family rather than leaving her with a couple kids to starve.

It's a dichotomy, much the way men desire a woman who's physically attractive (which puts female lives on easy mode), but also moral enough to raise a family (which is built through making difficult choices rather than easy mode).