So yeah, let me tell you a story. I was walking through hostile territory - y'know, *invading*, as one does - when those bastards... those bastards, it turns out, had indeed had the temerity to place *unmarked* minefields around bits of their land, and whilst perambulating, I trod on one of the damnable things and had my entire foot blown to chicken nuggets. **Why this happen!?** If only they would just march towards us in neat lines, so as to be more efficiently shot to death by our machine gun emplacements, but no; the *scum* and the *swine* insist on using *tactics* and hiding in the bottoms of wells and in dark basements clutching shotguns. In fact, their actions, when considered as a whole, almost give the impression that they're working very hard to *win this thing*. It's just not cricket.