I empathize with you. There were months i keep telling myself i was going to kill myself in two weeks unless something got better or I went to sleep at least once without feeling like a total failure as a human being. Audiobooks have always been my escapism and even they are getting harder. In war victory, in peace vigilance, in death sacrifice. We aren't at peace, and I won't tell you which of the other two we're at. I'm going to guess you dont have a lot of in person friends anymore, and you spend a lot more time in your own head. Take a shower, brush your teeth, and make a list of what problems you can fix that would make you happy.