Today was an interesting day.
Overall, it was a really good day, a very productive day, full of good news for Theo.
I got a haircut, I look really sharp, been getting compliments left and right. I purchased a really nice red and blue Macaulay-ish plaid collared shirt that is the perfect winter look for me. And several old Italian women fed me Christmas cookies.
I've been looking for a new job, went to an interview, got hired on the spot. Two hours after the interview, a lady called me, regarding a better job, and we did the phone interview there and then, and she immediately passed me through to the in-person interview.
I've been praying a lot, asking for humility, courage, and the ability to help those around me, and I feel as spiritually attuned as I have ever been.
Regardless, great day so far, I go to a meeting, and I see a guy I haven't seen in awhile, a guy I was super happy to see, a man who probably has more of my respect than any other living human. And I was looking forward to asking him something, I had this plan, this vision of how it was gonna work out, and how things would only continue to get better from here on out.
And he said no. And I don't know why, but that hit me really hard. Completely erased all the previous good feelings. The expectations I had built into my future plan for the universe were shattered, and I turned real sour real quick.
Immediately thought about doing some retarded shit. Just me being a big old fucking self-centered baby.
Anyway, I go to Target to buy some butter, feeling bad.
And I see this homeless guy I've talked to before, Michael, sitting outside the target on the freezing ground. He is a young guy, probably younger than I am, and I know he has been outside this Target for more than a year.
And in that time, I have seen his face go from relatively kempt, to now having months worth of shitty homeless man beard, freezing snot dripping down his nose and coagulating in his beard, and him just shivering, sitting on the ground.
And he has this little cat, a beautiful orange and cream little lady named Honey, who just sits on his lap while he pets her. She is super-well fed with a glossy coat, and a really expensive leash on, and she just sits there and loves him.
And he loves her, he absolutely loves her, he loves her so much more than he could ever possibly love himself.
And I have talked to this guy before, he is a really nice guy, you can tell he is intelligent, but he is just so completely trapped inside of his own mind in a way that I can relate to on a very personal level.
And he is very alone, alone in a way that few can understand.
Anyway, I went into the Target and purchased some butter and silently wept for a moment.
I got him a couple packs of warm socks, and asked him if he would come to the Christmas Eve and Christmas Dinners we have down at the clubhouse. I hope he comes.
But it just sucks, seeing how broken so many of us are, and knowing you are powerless to really help anyone. It made me feel so sad, and reminded me of how trivial and foolish all of my problems are.
I'll go back tomorrow night, and extend the invitation again, so he knows he really is welcome. I hope he shows up.
Decades ago I went to a giant midwest festival . I think I had $5 in my pocket . As we walked toward the entrance I saw a White family- a very scruffy bedraggled husband and wife with a baby and a little boy, probably 6-7 years old.
They were deeply homeless. Very dirty; it was super hot and they wore everything they owned. The wife fought with the husband while he held this infant wrapped in heavy winter blankets and the little boy- the little boy wore a woman's large orange shit and a pair of kelly green fat womans stretch pants rolled up to his ankles. Everything they wore was impressively dirty.
They were wrapped up in their drama and we walked on into the event.
That little boy man, in dirty fat womans clothing.
God bless you Theo, kindness echoes forever even in whispers.
>knowing you are powerless to really help anyone
Is canceled by
>I got him a couple packs of warm socks
That is probably a gigantic help at his stage in life.
You are not responsible for him, and yet you helped him. Good on you Theo.
Hope you get the guy to show up. Maybe he needs to be reminded he is worth more than he thinks. Thank you for the compassion you show others. It brings NEEDED small sparks of humanity to the vile cesspit we live in.
God bless the man who feeds the little birds.
What a gut wrenching experience. Somehow it's the animals that get me. Knowing the cat is probably the last little tenuous link to his sanity he's got left. I hope he makes it to that clubhouse.
Whatever happened to him, he and so many other White homeless need to be in a care facility that can try to help them in the long term. Meanwhile, there's dozens upon dozens billions wasted for blatant grift, sent to God knows where and lining the pockets of corrupt psychopaths. It's frustrating and I can understand your sadness.
If only you wernt gay. God hats the gays.
You are being a huge kike right now.