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809

Interesting change by WestJet Canada on 'fixed recline' seats. I take it to mean that the most screwed passengers will be that first row just behind the 'premium' seats that paid to recline, because not only will your economy fixed seat not be able to go back one precious inch, but someone else in that 'premium' seat in front of you will be able to recline into your space and face.

Interesting change by WestJet Canada on 'fixed recline' seats. I take it to mean that the most screwed passengers will be that first row just behind the 'premium' seats that paid to recline, because not only will your economy fixed seat not be able to go back one precious inch, but someone else in that 'premium' seat in front of you will be able to recline into your space and face.
[–] 2 pts

Breathing Air: $3 per lungful (Oxygen is premium-filtered through the CEO’s personal humidifier.)

Armrest Access: $10 per elbow (Shared armrests require a bidding war. Winner gets 60% of the surface.)

Window Glance: $7 per minute (Includes one cloud. Additional clouds $2 each.)

Overhead Bin Use: $25 per zipper touched (Includes complimentary judgment from flight attendants.)

Tray Table Deployment: $12 (Folds down with the grace of a guillotine. Use at your own risk.)

Seatbelt Buckling: $8 (Unbuckling is free, but comes with a stern warning.)

Cabin Lighting: $4 per bulb per hour (Mood lighting surcharge applies during turbulence.)

Smile from Crew: $6 (Authenticity not guaranteed. Refunds not available.)

Landing Fee: $15 (Optional. You may choose to remain airborne indefinitely.)

[–] 1 pt

Inhumanly small, stinking, toilet access $50

[–] 0 pt

Seat right beside the stinking toilet, $30 easy access fee.