I was getting on the bus after going to the gym and grocery shopping last Saturday. I looked around, same miserable crowd of ~~niggers and chinks~~ two white kids in suits smiling at me??? I made brief eye contact with on of them, and that was all it took. >Do you want to come to church with us on Sunday?!? The way he said it was endearing: halfway between a nervous teenager asking his crush out to prom, and a novice used-car salesman excited for his first deal, earnest and sincere and hopeful before the world has extinguished his optimism. I responded to their positivity with a reflexive yes; these seem like good, brave people, especially attempting to spread the good word on a bus packed with dangerous SEPTA juveniles, half of whom were wearing shiesties. It only took another moment for me to put two and two together. These were Mormons. Not sure how I feel about that, but they seemed happy. That matters a lot when you are trying to find a cult to join. They asked for my phone number to text me the location of their "South Philly Congregation", which is actually in Center City. A little further than I'd like to go, but I said yes, so I will go. Kind of forgot about it after that, but they have been calling me to pray with me after that. They even called me with a token south Philly Guido they had converted back in 1997, his name was Eldor Joey Moretti or some whop shit like that. But it was kind if endearing, they opened and closed every call with a prayer. So now I must go to the LDS church on Sunday. Will they get to me? Or will another cult find me first? I think my AA sponsor is in a cult too, I haven't told him about the mormons yet. I wonder what he will say about that.