Any way one looks at it, there must always be a balance. If there is a good, there is a bad, etc. If you have in fact cone to any realization there is a God, there must be a devil. If there is suffering, there is flourishing - that's life.
If there is one thing I hope for you in this life is the moment you become self-aware; that everything that happens in this life is beyond the individual. Every one of these posts you write reek of narcissism, there isn't a rehab for that.
Maybe consider volunteer work if you feel so inclined to fall on your sword for the sake of yourself. Do something nice for someone else; help animals. Take a break from the internet - it's therapeutic
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