Yeah.
He invited me to this past Thanksgiving and Christmas, along with his birthday, which is right after New Year's.
I would've gone to any of them. I just wanted him to explain why I wasn't invited the previous year.
I know why.
I know it was because I wasn't vaccinated.
I just needed him to tell me that.
I needed him to explain why my brother was invited, but he ignored my calls and texts.
I didn't need him to admit he was wrong. I just needed him to admit that he was willing to let his own dine alone during the Holidays because of my choice, and his reaction to it.
But he just lies, and pretends like it didn't happen.
Told me he didn't have a Thanksgiving in 2021. That it was canceled.
That's even worse. Because now he's basically calling my brother a liar.
There is no human that has ever hurt me worse than my Father.
Its always those we held in the highest regard or those who we felt closest to that are able to hurt us the most.
Did you blatantly call him out on it? If not. Why not?
Do yourself the favor. Don't let it cloud all of your other relationships. Life becomes a real bitch when you cant get close to people.
I'm sorry your dad is one of those "conditional love" parents.
You probably made a very good decision.
If you need to rant, don't hesitate to message. Most people don't have the ability to understand, seeing as though I cut my mother off more than a decade ago its healing for me to help others who are actively suffering through this.
Best wishes!
With Politics I don't hold anything personal with Family. I'm not there to provoke them or try to change their mind. But I'll give my facts and stay firm on my 'beliefs' unless facts given can change them. That's it.
There are millions of people on the planet I can engage and have conflict over politics with. Family doesn't have to be any one of them. Family is just a few people.
When it comes to covid I see it as a religion. There are believers, half believers, and not the fuck all believers. I'm a not the fuck all believer.
I'm not not going to disrespect people who are hardcore believers (so long as their collective convenient is being non invasive). I've got Family who are hardcore believers. If they didn't want me to visit etc, I would not hold it against them. I just wouldn't visit until they came to their senses or lightened their "belief". It's inevitable that it's going to happen, covid as an "pandemic" can never hold. It's just impossible any population in the past present and future history of humanity would accept it as a forever thing.
Remember that bearing false witness is a Sin. Either your brother did, or your father did. It's not just reasonable to ostracize someone who unrepentantly bears false witness, you're instructed to do so if they refuse to repent after being confronted about it with witnesses. You confronted him repeatedly and he refused to repent, ergo you're doing as you ought to by dropkicking him from your life.
Remember that bearing false witness is a Sin.
This is not a fun feeling to have, but you're right. All of my family gave me shit for being unvaccinated, but they didn't cut me off. He cut me off, now wants to pretend he didn't, and is lying about it and contradicting my brother's word.
Take this for what it’s worth, which you may feel is nothing.
But people like your dad are living in and controlled by fear.
What becomes hard to discern is how we are supposed to treat them over it, how do we take it, etc. Who’s fault is it? There’s a couple of ways you can look at this. You can be disappointed and angry at him for his choices here because those choices hurt you. Disappointed because he buys into the bullshit. I’ve certainly felt this towards many in my family. And then anger, too, as some of them have been condescending and shifty in their weakest moments over this shit.
On the other hand, they are victims of abuse on an industrial scale. I mean, we all are, though some of us are resistant when others aren’t. Mental abuse, emotional abuse, and then finally the physical abuse of the vaccine mandates and/or the fact that they are driven by the fear of the emotional/mental abuse into getting the shot. Anyway you want to slice it, those in power have abused all of us in some way, and it has affected some of us more severely than others.
And then both sides of that coin can be true at the same time.
Some shit has been said to me and I have been treated poorly by some in my family over the same issues and my stance on those issues.
I have chosen to view them mostly as victims of a fear campaign. Does it make them weak? Yeah, I think so. But then since when do I abandon a victim of abuse because they’re weak?
I’m not telling you what to do or even trying to imply that you’re an asshole for deciding to part ways. I made my decisions on how to deal with and treat my family after a lot of careful thought..and you know what? It’s a choice I keep having to make every day because it does piss me off when this shit comes up.. though it comes up a lot less now and I think some of them are slowly coming around to the understanding that they were lied to and manipulated.
All I’m saying is, perhaps try to look at it from the perspective of your dad. I’m not saying he is right or was right, I’m saying he’s a scared, lost, old man. And people do shitty things out of fear.
Those of us who actually “get it” and know what’s going behind the scenes have a fucking burden that others don’t carry. It sucks, but it is what it is. Part of that burden is exemplified in what you’ve described with your situation with your dad. And consider that the splitting of families and destruction of relationships is exactly what the cabal wants.
I’m not telling you what to do, I’m just saying really evaluate and consider it, and try to do it with as little emotion as possible if you can. Then make a decision.
All I’m saying is, perhaps try to look at it from the perspective of your dad. I’m not saying he is right or was right, I’m saying he’s a scared, lost, old man. And people do shitty things out of fear.
You're being too generous. If Theo's father said "I didnt invite you to Thanksgiving because you wouldnt take the jab", that would be one thing. A cowardly NPC move, but not evil. That Theo's father repeatedly lied about it is another matter. That's a Sin. Theo confronted his father about it repeatedly and his father not only refused to repent, but continued to lie about it. You cant keep unrepentant Sinners in your life.
People often lie because in their heart of hearts, they know they’re wrong but verbalizing/admitting it is scary to them.
I’m saying that the man isn’t necessarily evil because he lied.
He did what he did because of fear and he lied about it because of his own shame.
I’m not saying it makes it right, to be clear. I’m just saying to carefully weigh everything before making such an impactful life decision.
I think that perhaps Theo is making a decision based on emotions here, and that rarely works out to the benefit of the decision maker. Not that Theo isn’t justified in feeling hurt and angry. He absolutely is.
And yes I’m generous on this, unlike most people here on Poal.
While I realize that some of the opposition is diehard evil, much of those who chose to give in to the fear aren’t evil. They’re simply victims and they’re weak willed.
Those of us who choose to live in our own little bubble and avoid anyone who doesn’t agree with our worldview can certainly do that, and in many ways it’s easier. But it accomplishes nothing. The fact is that we need more people to wake up to support the cause of truth and freedom. It’s very difficult to effect that change if we isolate ourselves from everyone who doesn’t see things the same way. And it’s never a quick turnaround. It takes perseverance.
Like I said, I have dealt with a lot of the same sort of shit from my own family..and I have considered exactly what Theo is considering.
What I ultimately decided was not to cut them off completely, but I do have new boundaries with them that weren’t previously there. So I haven’t looked at it as an “all of nothing” sort of thing..which is tough for me because I’m a very black and white thinker to begin with.
But, I see signs of a turnaround. Much like Theo’s dad, my mother still won’t outright admit she was wrong and that I was right about all this shit, but she’s slowly discovering for herself that I was right. It’s taken two years just to get to this point. About two weeks ago, I became very pissed about this. But then I stepped back and thought that whether or not she’ll ever admit I was right, who knows. And I’m not going to base our entire relationship on that. At the end of the day, I want her to live. So if she finally wakes up fully and never admits fault, at least she woke up and is alive. It isn’t right, per se, but then very few things are.
I can be an example by treating people well to the best of my ability, and to be forgiving.
What I don’t want is for myself, Theo, or any of you to face the day when someone important in your life passes and then I or you regrets how the relationship was and wishes we would have done things differently.
(post is archived)