All I’m saying is, perhaps try to look at it from the perspective of your dad. I’m not saying he is right or was right, I’m saying he’s a scared, lost, old man. And people do shitty things out of fear.
You're being too generous. If Theo's father said "I didnt invite you to Thanksgiving because you wouldnt take the jab", that would be one thing. A cowardly NPC move, but not evil. That Theo's father repeatedly lied about it is another matter. That's a Sin. Theo confronted his father about it repeatedly and his father not only refused to repent, but continued to lie about it. You cant keep unrepentant Sinners in your life.
People often lie because in their heart of hearts, they know they’re wrong but verbalizing/admitting it is scary to them.
I’m saying that the man isn’t necessarily evil because he lied.
He did what he did because of fear and he lied about it because of his own shame.
I’m not saying it makes it right, to be clear. I’m just saying to carefully weigh everything before making such an impactful life decision.
I think that perhaps Theo is making a decision based on emotions here, and that rarely works out to the benefit of the decision maker. Not that Theo isn’t justified in feeling hurt and angry. He absolutely is.
And yes I’m generous on this, unlike most people here on Poal.
While I realize that some of the opposition is diehard evil, much of those who chose to give in to the fear aren’t evil. They’re simply victims and they’re weak willed.
Those of us who choose to live in our own little bubble and avoid anyone who doesn’t agree with our worldview can certainly do that, and in many ways it’s easier. But it accomplishes nothing. The fact is that we need more people to wake up to support the cause of truth and freedom. It’s very difficult to effect that change if we isolate ourselves from everyone who doesn’t see things the same way. And it’s never a quick turnaround. It takes perseverance.
Like I said, I have dealt with a lot of the same sort of shit from my own family..and I have considered exactly what Theo is considering.
What I ultimately decided was not to cut them off completely, but I do have new boundaries with them that weren’t previously there. So I haven’t looked at it as an “all of nothing” sort of thing..which is tough for me because I’m a very black and white thinker to begin with.
But, I see signs of a turnaround. Much like Theo’s dad, my mother still won’t outright admit she was wrong and that I was right about all this shit, but she’s slowly discovering for herself that I was right. It’s taken two years just to get to this point. About two weeks ago, I became very pissed about this. But then I stepped back and thought that whether or not she’ll ever admit I was right, who knows. And I’m not going to base our entire relationship on that. At the end of the day, I want her to live. So if she finally wakes up fully and never admits fault, at least she woke up and is alive. It isn’t right, per se, but then very few things are.
I can be an example by treating people well to the best of my ability, and to be forgiving.
What I don’t want is for myself, Theo, or any of you to face the day when someone important in your life passes and then I or you regrets how the relationship was and wishes we would have done things differently.
What I don’t want is for myself, Theo, or any of you to face the day when someone important in your life passes and then I or you regrets how the relationship was and wishes we would have done things differently.
Why would Theo have regrets? His father can stop lying at any point and say "I did have Thanksgiving last year and didnt invite you. I lied and told you we didnt have Thanksgiving." Theo has absolutely no control over that - it's 100% in his father's control and there is no subjective gray area about "why" this was done. If someone has 100% control over a Sin like his father does, it'd be immoral for Theo to feel regret over his father's actions. It'd be like me regretting that some crack head robs gas stations. Not my choice, not my responsibility.
No one said anything about having regrets for the other person’s actions, so you can shove that manufactured strawman argument directly up your ass.
I’m talking about regretting ending a relationship after it’s too late to do anything about it.
I can’t say for certain that in the end, he would regret it. I don’t know. Maybe he won’t. By the same token, you can’t say for certain that he wouldn’t regret ending that relationship.
I’m simply saying that he should really consider all the angles before making such a huge decision, and try to do it with as little emotion attached as possible.
There is such a thing as toxic relationships, and people should exit those. The way I define a toxic relationship might not be the same way you define it. For me, it’s certain negative behaviors which are present no matter the circumstances. That’s different than people acting out because they don’t have the mental fortitude to deal with a specific, unique situation. This COVID madness is a unique and specific situation that caused many people to go crazy. We can all attest to this I’m sure. People who you thought had it together and then they went batshit insane while you kept your head on straight.
Most of those people are simply scared. Very few people are courageous in the face of fear. They need people in their lives who are courageous and also have thick skin to deal with their reaction to the fear. Some sacrifice on our part is required, that’s our role. No one should put up with abuse, granted. But some grace towards the fearful sheep is something we need to try to have. Lead by example.
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