What life?
A giant faggot like you in the vietnam jungle would have been a fucking 'nades and bullets magnet, plural. They would have given you the m60 because of your natural capacity to carry it around, and you can bet your ass the jawa sized viets would have unloaded everything they had on you the second they saw you with it, for obvious reasons
And that's without considering a fucking john mccain bombing your ass by accident as in "oops sorry, my bad..."
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