So what course of action are you going to take now?
Truthfully, I dont know.
I had another thought. Ever considered picking up a meticulous type of hobby? Some do landscapes and paint figurines, model railroads etc. Maybe just pickup a bike to rebuild. Even just exercise can feel like standing still. sometimes literally as i walk in the same place on a treadmill in front of my tv daily... yoou sound like you need to build something just for you.
I have done the bike thing, many times. Its expensive.
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