I thought, and I realized that I was existing without wanting to exist.

No contest here, it is the same thing every human goes through, whether they like it or not.

A "doctor" chopped part of my dick off when I was a baby.

I should have stayed with my girlfriend in my early twenties and started a family. Now I'm mid thirties and single. She didn't get into the college that would have her living in the same town as me so we called it off. Didn't want to do long distance anymore.

Now she's married with kids...