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For a couple weeks, I broke down and went to the store and my dumbass bought two bottles cause I know the game Im playing. Apparently I cant have it in the house, I thought I could be responsible with it but it aint gonna happen.

When you live alone and work alone there is nothing else to blame. I cant change anything up or stop what Im not doing. Beer costs to damn much and doesnt even give me a buzz. Im not gonna pour anything out but gonna give not drinking another go for awhile. I always thought I would start working out again if I quit but with this fucking shoulder that aint happening now.

Shit aint easy but its past time.

For a couple weeks, I broke down and went to the store and my dumbass bought two bottles cause I know the game Im playing. Apparently I cant have it in the house, I thought I could be responsible with it but it aint gonna happen. When you live alone and work alone there is nothing else to blame. I cant change anything up or stop what Im not doing. Beer costs to damn much and doesnt even give me a buzz. Im not gonna pour anything out but gonna give not drinking another go for awhile. I always thought I would start working out again if I quit but with this fucking shoulder that aint happening now. Shit aint easy but its past time.

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[–] • 2 pts

Fair play for trying, sometimes it's not the substance but the habit itself.

It's always your choice and your agency to do the things you do. You can drink if you want or not drink if you want, it's up to you.

I was watching Jay Masters on YouTube last week, he was a heavy drinker up until 3 months ago when he had a medical emergency and ended up in hospital, it was touch and go. He hasn't smoked a cigarette or touched a drop since then and what he said in this livestream hit a chord with me. At the 6:25 mark someone asks him if he would start drinking again and he answered in a very thoughtful way, and said that he would like to have a drink, but he doesn't want to have a drink.

https://youtu.be/lXFHOytEEOw

Perhaps you could write down when you drink, write the date, what you drank and how you feel the next day, to have a clear indication of your relationship with drink and what it's doing for you.