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tl;dr if you cut hot peppers, make sure you wash your hands MUCH LONGER than 15 seconds.

Found out the hard way after I cut a bunch of hot yellow peppers. Proceeded to wash my hands with soap for maybe 15 seconds, and then went to the bathroom.

Wiped. And about maybe a minute after getting out of the bathroom, the fire set in.

Feels like I have a soldering iron pre-warming against my asshole.

Live and learn they say!

tl;dr if you cut hot peppers, make sure you wash your hands MUCH LONGER than 15 seconds. Found out the hard way after I cut a bunch of hot yellow peppers. Proceeded to wash my hands with soap for maybe 15 seconds, and then went to the bathroom. Wiped. And about maybe a minute after getting out of the bathroom, the fire set in. Feels like I have a soldering iron pre-warming against my asshole. Live and learn they say!

(post is archived)

[–] • 11 pts

Use toilet paper, OP. Either that or rinse off your undercarriage with water.

Incidentally, how long did you wash your hands for after going in there manually? Cook you dinner thoroughly, nomesayin'?

[–] • 3 pts

Certainly indicates “poopy nails” at the minimum.

[–] • 1 pt

Washed my hands thoroughly before meal prep. Just didn't think about how long I needed to wash after cooking.

[–] • 2 pts

I hope you recover promptly. I will listen to Johnny Cash and think of you.

[–] • 1 pt

I fell down into a burning ring of fire!

[–] • 3 pts

Slightly off topic, but advice from plumber to not block the drain.

Tear your TP square by square. You can stack up as many squares as you want, just don't flush long strands of heavy-duty TP.

Alternately you can check your TP by putting a strand in the bowl and stirring with OP's bare hand. If the TP breaks up you can basically use it however you like. If it does not break up use the stacked squares method.

Then wash OP's hand thoroughly with hot soapy water for 60 seconds before letting him in the kitchen.

[–] • 3 pts

You're one of them dot heads, ain't you!

While I've got your attention, I've always wanted to know, that dot is for after you get married ain't it. You scratch it off to see if you've won a hotel or gas station, amiright!

[–] • 1 pt

You're one of them dot heads, ain't you!

Nope, but thats the first I heard that joke, lol.

[–] • 3 pts

two thoughts:

  1. why are your fingers in your ass when taking a Duke? that's not normal.

  2. Capsaicin is fat soluble. any type of oil rub prior to washing your hands will clean better.

[–] • 2 pts

why are your fingers in your ass when taking a Duke? that's not normal.

You don't wipe your butthole? What are you, crazy?

Capsaicin is fat soluble. any type of oil rub prior to washing your hands will clean better.

Thanks for the info.

[–] • 2 pts

🤣 there's supposed to be toilet paper involved. I'm just messing with you though.

thanks for the good chuckle, op.

[–] • 3 pts

I finally started using gloves when chopping up hot peppers, too many times rubbing my eyes or grabbing my junk. But I did have some hot chicken this weekend so I felt my share of flaming butthole.

[–] • 3 pts

Do you use 1 ply and routinely get stink finger?

[–] • 2 pts (edited )

I use two ply and fold it multiple times.

tl;dr I wipe with origami cranes.

[–] • 2 pts

I finger banged a girl in a Chipotle parking lot in my car when I was 17 after we ate. She dumped me a couple hours later. It's a shame because she was a cute and smart White woman too.

[–] • 2 pts

Use a bidet that you attach to the seat area. TP only for drying off. No stinky fingers, etc. Use soap lathered on your hands for minimum 25 seconds.

This is the weirdest post OP. Never heard of cornhole burning cuz of cutting peppers.

I agree with the other guy. You are a curry nigger or honorary curry nigger. Please get the same badge as anal expander.

[–] • 1 pt

You are a curry nigger or honorary curry nigger. Please get the same badge as anal expander.

Nope. I am neither.

[–] • 1 pt

Life must be hard for faggots in India and Mexico. Hell, it must be difficult for man-eating tigers. After they eat some villager, you would hear them roaring in the jungle about six hours later. Imagine having a tiger running towards you at full speed and thinking you are done for, only to have the beast run past you, howling because its ass is on fire.

[–] • 1 pt

My dog will crunch up pistachio shells if he can get one. Then you hear, "Yipe!" When he goes outside. He never learns.

[–] • 1 pt

Life must be hard for faggots in India and Mexico. Hell, it must be difficult for man-eating tigers. After they eat some villager, you would hear them roaring in the jungle about six hours later. Imagine having a tiger running towards you at full speed and thinking you are done for, only to have the beast run past you, howling because its ass is on fire.

You have a glorious sense of humor. Never change it.

[–] • 2 pts

I rinse my hands in either full cream or bicarb then vinegar, capsacin is NOT water soluble but oil soluble, use a nail brush, OR you could use latex/nitrile gloves.

[–] • 2 pts

This has to be some weird fetish for someone out there.

[–] • 2 pts

Wash your hands with olive oil first, then dawn dish soap. Thank me later.

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