This is a long process of thoughts, but I would start off like this. It doesn't matter if God exists or does not exist. It doesn't matter if we were created from some Holy Spark, or just some sort of random chain of non-sensical events that lead to a Big Bang. All that matters is that whatever created this Existence, allowed suffering to happen in a nearly unlimited fashion. It also allowed pleasure to happen, but only in a certain sense, in a way that is not true bliss, in a way that dictates every action you choose and describes your own will. Every action you take is because you think it will be more pleasurable than an alternative action, even if it is not very pleasurable in and of itself. If you are drowning in the middle of the ocean, you will swim, even though swimming in the middle of an ocean without much hope of making it to shore in not very pleasant. If a racoon has leg trapped inside of a hunter's snare, it will chew its' own leg off, even though this is a painful, deprecating experience, because the alternative is dying slowly, or quickly, but without being Free. There is only so much pleasure allowed in this existence, just enough to keep you going, keep you convinced that you must go own and reproduce and spread your DNA far and wide. Your purpose is to spread your own DNA. It doesn't matter if you are religious or not. God said "Be fruitful and Multiply" Darwin said evolutionary existence was the same thing. It all just seems so trite. Keep life going for the sake of it, despite the fact that you know your future generations will suffer unknowable horror. Assuming we have similar political goals, which is within the realm of possibility, do you think the next generation of children will live in a world that is better than this one, in this moment? What if I told you that the next generation of children would mostly die painful deaths of dysentery and typhus, and you would have to watch their mother mourn? That is something that happened throughout human history. The promise that your next born child would almost certainly die a painful and humiliating death. But people kept on fucking. Gotta bring in the next generation, people who never asked to be born, just so they can live and suffer and pretend it is all ok. I think consciousness was a mistake. I think that pain and suffering do not deserve to exist, under any circumstance. That being said, I hope you are doing well. Thanks for listening. Regards, -Theo