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Being sober. It’s boring sometimes. Like tonight. You know what’s more fun than sitting watching stupid videos on your phone? Watching stupid videos on your phone high. You know what’s better than going to the gym? Going to the gym high. Doing drugs for so many years leaves with you with this feeling like there’s always something missing. Like you need salt or something. I can’t explain it. I miss meth most of all. Meth and video games. Then you see demons after a week and that’s fun cause it’s like a waking nightmare.

Being sober. It’s boring sometimes. Like tonight. You know what’s more fun than sitting watching stupid videos on your phone? Watching stupid videos on your phone high. You know what’s better than going to the gym? Going to the gym high. Doing drugs for so many years leaves with you with this feeling like there’s always something missing. Like you need salt or something. I can’t explain it. I miss meth most of all. Meth and video games. Then you see demons after a week and that’s fun cause it’s like a waking nightmare.

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[–] • 1 pt

You need therapy, and also introspection into what went so catastrophically wrong in your life that perpetual disassociation is appealing. I'm guessing your childhood was horrible?

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

More likely no father in the picture.

[–] • 0 pt

I'd categorize that as "horrible", and the statistics would back me up.

[–] • 0 pt

What do you mean perpetually disassociating

[–] • 0 pt

Drugging oneself into an altered state of consciousness (or in the case of a week long meth binge, horrible hallucinations) because you prefer that to reality.

For a point of comparison, a happy, well adjusted person isn't going to have a fantastic day indulging in their favorite hobby with great friends, have a joy filled meal with their happy family, and then curl up with their spouse to watch a beautiful sunset and think to themself "You know what, I'd love to drug myself into a stupor to forget today".

People with horrible lives and a metric ton of trauma? THAT is much more appealing to disassociate from.