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Hard times are coming, and emotional maturity will keep you strong. I've listened to men complain about things that don't matter, or make issues for themselves that can be solved with a simple shift in perspective.

For myself, I study Stoicism. I find it helps me weave through life's more unimportant emotional demands, and focus my emotional energy on where it will benefit most. Ex: A man complains of his wife complaining. Pretty common. I look at my wife's complaining as information I can use to gauge her mental health, the issues she's dealing with, etc. I don't solve my wife's problems, I just listen. I do not add her burden to my own. I simply offer advice when appropriate and I don't bring the subject up again. I do all this with respect and kindness.

I would challenge you to ask yourself how emotionally mature you are. Be honest with the answer. Think heavy on it. Dig around in areas that are uncomfortable for you. And then accept your answer.... if you're good, you're good. If you need to work on things, you know what to do.

Hard times are coming, and emotional maturity will keep you strong. I've listened to men complain about things that don't matter, or make issues for themselves that can be solved with a simple shift in perspective. For myself, I study Stoicism. I find it helps me weave through life's more unimportant emotional demands, and focus my emotional energy on where it will benefit most. Ex: A man complains of his wife complaining. Pretty common. I look at my wife's complaining as information I can use to gauge her mental health, the issues she's dealing with, etc. I don't solve my wife's problems, I just listen. I do not add her burden to my own. I simply offer advice when appropriate and I don't bring the subject up again. I do all this with respect and kindness. I would challenge you to ask yourself how emotionally mature you are. Be honest with the answer. Think heavy on it. Dig around in areas that are uncomfortable for you. And then accept your answer.... if you're good, you're good. If you need to work on things, you know what to do.

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[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

You keep this perspective, and you won't grow. If this is your situation, you are the one responsible for it. Take personal responsibility, and lead your way out of it. Don't know how?.. Go seek advice from men you trust. Successful men with marriages you admire. The only other option is to point a finger at someone else and declare THEM the problem, leaving you mentally free to claim victimhood.

Imagine you are the king, and every time you make a law, the queen TRIES to change it, but she can't, because you're the king. Imagine driving a car and your wife grabs the wheel because she thinks you don't know where you're going.... I can, and I can also imagine the conclusion to that scenario.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

Beating her into submission doesn't work either. You need two to tango. If you wife wants to act like the leader then their will be problems no matter what your perspective is. If she thinks she is your equal then she will never follow. Feminism is the death of families.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

I think we've hit an impasse. You're missing many pieces of this puzzle, and don't seem to understand the nuance of male/female interaction. I've offered all the advice I can give, based on the way you've framed this. I wish you luck, and don't stop learning. Reach out to other men. Ask questions. Listen and learn. You can learn just as much from the idiots as you can from the geniuses.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

Maybe you need to learn something from me. You may have gotten lucky with your wife, but the world is full of narcissistic psychopath women. If you find yourself in a relationship with one then no amount of perspective shift will make her happy or lead to a healthy relationship.