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Hard times are coming, and emotional maturity will keep you strong. I've listened to men complain about things that don't matter, or make issues for themselves that can be solved with a simple shift in perspective.

For myself, I study Stoicism. I find it helps me weave through life's more unimportant emotional demands, and focus my emotional energy on where it will benefit most. Ex: A man complains of his wife complaining. Pretty common. I look at my wife's complaining as information I can use to gauge her mental health, the issues she's dealing with, etc. I don't solve my wife's problems, I just listen. I do not add her burden to my own. I simply offer advice when appropriate and I don't bring the subject up again. I do all this with respect and kindness.

I would challenge you to ask yourself how emotionally mature you are. Be honest with the answer. Think heavy on it. Dig around in areas that are uncomfortable for you. And then accept your answer.... if you're good, you're good. If you need to work on things, you know what to do.

Hard times are coming, and emotional maturity will keep you strong. I've listened to men complain about things that don't matter, or make issues for themselves that can be solved with a simple shift in perspective. For myself, I study Stoicism. I find it helps me weave through life's more unimportant emotional demands, and focus my emotional energy on where it will benefit most. Ex: A man complains of his wife complaining. Pretty common. I look at my wife's complaining as information I can use to gauge her mental health, the issues she's dealing with, etc. I don't solve my wife's problems, I just listen. I do not add her burden to my own. I simply offer advice when appropriate and I don't bring the subject up again. I do all this with respect and kindness. I would challenge you to ask yourself how emotionally mature you are. Be honest with the answer. Think heavy on it. Dig around in areas that are uncomfortable for you. And then accept your answer.... if you're good, you're good. If you need to work on things, you know what to do.

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[–] • 1 pt

So what are you going to do about it? Are you going to shout at her, disfigure her and thrust her in to someone else's arms? Or are you going to suck it up, choose which burdens to carry and enjoy the positive aspects of your relationship?

Are you sure what you're doing right now, in this very conversation, isn't the exact thing you accuse her of doing? Don't you see me helping you shoulder the burden?

Go read a book, take a shower or drink a beer or whatever. Come back in an hour and read this conversation again. I think you might have anew perspective.

Maybe try what I'm doing with you on her. See if it improves. You don't have to let all this negative emotion eat you up, man.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

Unhappy people cannot have happy relationships. Everyone's happiness is their own responsibility.

[–] • 1 pt

I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm showing you that relationships are an exchange. You're too focused on how much more sturdy you are than her. She's supposed to be the complainy bitchy one. You knew that.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

Yeah, but I didn't think she would focus ALL her complaints to be about me. Sometimes people just want to control the other person. There is no negotiating with narcissists.